Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship

by Stan Tatkin

If you haven’t already, I suggest you add this to your daily routine over the next week. Find a time when you can be alone together for a minimum of ten minutes every day. It can be before you go to sleep, or any other time that’s convenient. Spend this time in close physical contact. No sex! You can cuddle, caress, or even cradle one another as you would a baby. If you are someone who feels uneasy with physical contact, do this anyway and talk about it with your partner. Chances are high that you have always been touch aversive. But that doesn’t mean you need to stay this way. Right? We’re talking about your health here. Notice the effect this time has on your level of stress and on your physical health. Although you may want to continue beyond one week to realize the full effect, I’d be surprised if you don’t notice any benefits even within these first few days.