Redeeming 6 (Boys of Tommen, #4)

by Chloe Walsh

“You broke up with me, Joey,” she replied, tone thick. “You can wrap it up as sweetly as you want, but in the end, that’s exactly what you did.” “I still love you.” I heard her sudden intake of breath, but she didn’t say anything for a long beat. “Don’t.” “I fucking love you, Aoife Molloy,” I repeated, focusing on an oil stain on the back wall of the garage. “I always will.” “Then take it back.” “I can’t.” I shook my head, feeling like my heart was splitting clean down the center. “I’m not good for you.”

“No, I’m not okay,” she choked out, voice thick with emotion now. “I haven’t been okay in weeks.” This time she did look at me, and it cut like a knife when I saw the tears pooling in her eyes. “But you seem like you’re doing a lot better, so clearly this breakup is working for one of us.” “Are you serious?” I took a step back, feeling like she had just knifed me in the gut. “You think I’m not hurting?” “I don’t know how you feel anymore.” “In love,” I bit out. “With you.” “Don’t…” “Nothing’s changed for me, Molloy,” I interrupted, needing her to know. “Nothing.” “I can’t do this,” she admitted, voice torn. “I can’t.” “Can’t do what?” I asked, feeling panicked. “Can’t talk to me?” “Be here with you and not be with you,” she strangled out, pressing a hand to her forehead. “It’s too much. It’s too hard.” Shaking her head, she turned to walk away. “I can’t.” “Aoife.” A fucked-up combination of guilt and fear coursed through me as I watched her leave. “All I’m trying to do is protect you.” “No—” Swinging around, she stalked back to me, looking mad as hell. “No,” she repeated through clenched teeth, pointing her finger at me. “This is not protecting me, Joey. Waking away is not protecting me. Leaving me is not protecting me, dammit!” Furious, she blinked back her tears and glared up at me. “That is not how you treat the person you love, which goes to show that you never loved me the way I loved you.” “Never loved you?” I gaped at her. “Are you fucking crazy? You’re the only per...

“You crushed me.” Pain. It hit me square in the chest. “I know.” “Bad boy.” Her breath was laced with alcohol and so fucking warm on my face when she whispered, “Tell me you’re sorry.” I gave in without a fight, too weary and too damn in love to fight my feelings. “I’m sorry.” “How sorry?” “Very sorry.” “Good boy.” Her tongue was on my ear then, her body pressed flushed against mine. “Now, tell me you love me.” “I love you.” The words flew off my tongue in record time. “Say it again.” “I love you.” “How much?” “A lot.” “Hmm.” Taking my hand in hers, she led me onto the dance floor, and like the habit of a lifetime, I followed after her, knowing that this girl was by far my greatest addiction. “What are you doing?” “You broke my heart,” she told me, moving my hands to her hips as she curled her arms around my neck and stepped closer. “The least you can do is dance with me.”

It hurt to look at her. To feel how deeply I felt and know that I wasn’t good for her. “Look at me,” she repeated, green eyes burning through me as the song played around us. “Keep your eyes on me.” Shivering, she kept me close and said, “Make this song about us instead.” With a dull ache in my chest, I forced myself to comply. To give this girl whatever she wanted. “I love you.” “I know.” “I don’t want to hurt you.” She stroked my cheek. “I know that, too.” Exhaling a pained breath, I let my brow sag against hers. “You’re all I want, Molloy.” “Then prove it,” she whispered, fingers gliding over my skin. “Because you can’t keep me hanging in limbo like this.” “That’s not what I’m trying to do.” “Maybe not, but that’s what you’re doing.” Pain struck me in the chest. “I’m trying to protect you.” “Stop trying to protect me and start making me happy,” she countered, eyes locked on mine. “Because it’s time to pick your poison, Joey Lynch.”

Trembling, I stood in front of the only boy I had ever loved, with an ultimatum hanging heavily in the air between us. What I said was true. I genuinely couldn’t live another day feeling like this. I needed to know where I stood with him. I couldn’t cope with the unknown. It terrified me. “There’s no decision to make,” he blew my mind by saying, green eyes blazing with heat. “You already know it’s you.” His response caused a shiver of delight to roll through my body, but my heart was still wary. “No, I don’t,” I choked out, heart racing violently. Because if I did, I wouldn’t be standing here, putting my heart and pride on the line. “I don’t know, Joey.” “Then let me be very clear about it,” he replied, reaching up to cup the side of my face. “It’s you, Molloy.” He tipped my chin up, forcing me to look at him. “It’s you.” “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.” “It’s you,” he repeated gruffly, fingers tightening on my waist. “I pick you. Every single time.” “I mean it,” I warned, shaking my head. “I’m a big girl and I knew what I was getting myself into when I kissed you that day outside your house. You have this warped notion that you need to shield me from your life when nothing about your life has come as a surprise to me. I walked into this relationship with my eyes wide open, and guess what, my eyes are still open, and I still want in.” “I still want in, too,” he replied gruffly. “I just…” He blew out a ragged breath. “You mean the world to me,” he confessed, voice paine...

I could think about was if I didn’t get you away from me, I would end up destroying my world, because that’s what you are to me, Aoife. You’re my whole goddamn world wrapped up in one girl. So, yeah, maybe I’ve gone about it entirely the wrong way, but all I’ve ever tried to do is protect you.” “See, that’s a huge part of our problem right there, Joe, because I’ve never needed your protection,” I croaked out. “I’m not your mother or your sister. I’m not another girl who needs something from you. I’m the girl who wholeheartedly wants you. I’m the girl who wholeheartedly loves you. The hurler. The mechanic. The boy. The protector. The asshole. The lover. The addict.” Sniffling, I added, “All of your versions. All of your shapes and colors. I accept them all. So, I don’t care how fucked up in the head you get, or how bad of an idea you decide you are for me. If you can’t be with me, warts and all, then walk away now, because I won’t go through this again with you.” “I hear you, Molloy,” he replied, tone strained, as he rested both hands on my waist. “Do you?” I implored him with my eyes to be honest. “Do you really hear me, Joe?” He nodded slowly. “I hear you, baby.” “Good.” Trembling, I clenched my eyes shut, losing the battle with both my emotions and my pride as I dropped my forehead to rest against his chest. “Because you can’t take it back this time, Joe. Do you hear me? You don’t get to walk away again for any other reason than you don’t want to be with me and trust tha...

“I love you,” he repeated slowly, leaning in to give me an innocent, sweet, soul-destroying kiss. “No more walls, Joe.” My arms came around his waist, fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt as I clung to him like a prayer. “No more secrets and cover-ups, okay? We’re way past those. Because I’ve never been your enemy,” I squeezed out. “I’ve always been your teammate.”

I’d never been the kind of person that took being cornered or told what to do lying down, but I didn’t feel the usual need to fight her on it. It had taken years to happen, but my body and mind didn’t automatically slip into attack mode when she called me out on my bullshit anymore. I didn’t shift into defense mode either, because something deep inside of me recognized her as an ally. My teammate. It had never happened before.

I couldn’t understand it, much less explain it, but when I was with her, I felt like I was drowning and breathing at once. I felt like I was riding this thrilling wave, and it didn’t matter if I fell or not because I could only land on softness. I wasn’t going to get hurt this time.

“And now you’re sure?” She watched me closely. “Now you trust me?” “Yeah, Molloy.” Nodding slowly, I leaned in close and brushed my lips against hers. “I trust you.” “Wow.” She expelled a shaky breath. “I think that means more to me than when you finally admitted that you love me.” “How’d you figure?” “Oh, please. You’ve been in love with me since forever. It’s so obvious,” she replied without a hint of self-doubt or shyness, and I fucking loved it. “But I was never sure if you could ever truly open yourself up in that way to anyone.” “Not anyone, Molloy,” I told her. “Just you.” “You know I’ve got your back, right?” she said,

It was the truth. Where she saw weakness, I saw strength. Where she saw fear, I saw resilience.

<3

“I will never reject your love.” He exhaled and whispered, “I’m really fucking drowning here, Aoife.” “Don’t worry, Joe. I won’t let that happen,” I replied, nuzzling his nose with mine. “I won’t let your head go under.” “Promise?” I leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips. “I promise.” “I love you.” “I love you back.” “I’m going to get this right, Molloy.” “I know you are, Joe.” “You’re really sticking around, aren’t ya?” “Afraid so.” I smiled in the darkness. “For the ring. The white dress. The white picket fence. The whole nine yards.” “Jesus.” He chuckled. “Don’t push it.” “I always push it, Joe.” “Understatement of the century, Molloy.” “When we get engaged—” “We’re not getting engaged.” “I want a ring the size of my fist.” He snorted. “Good luck with that.” “And when we get married—” “We’re not getting married.” “I want a big house in the country, with a huge four-poster bed and one of those giant flat-screen televisions hanging on the wall.” “And where am I going to find the money for that?” I beamed at him. “I thought you said we weren’t getting married.” “We’re not.” He turned to face me. “We can’t because I’ll be in prison for robbing a bank to pay for that fist-size ring you have your eye on.” “And when we have babies—” “We’re not having babies.” “They’ll be blond and green-eyed and just like their dad.” “You’re insane.” “I’m in love.”