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Maybe this is a good thing, I thought to myself as I was led out back to a waiting prison van. Maybe the judge will decide to remand me, and I’ll be transferred to Cork Prison. At least then, Molloy and the baby will be safe from me.
Noooo
“They deserve to have parents.” “From what I can tell, they’ve always had one,” John said, giving me a meaningful look. “You’ve been one hell of a father, Joey Lynch.”
Just stomp on my heart why dont ya
“A day? Two at the most?” Her voice was gentle and full of understanding when she asked, “Does your skin itch so bad you want to tear yourself open? Has the cold gotten into your bones so deep you feel like you’ll never be warm again? What about the cold sweats and the nausea? Have you reached the stage where you would rather die than go without?” “I have it under control.” “Do you?” She sighed heavily. “Or does it have control of you?” “You don’t know me.”
Edel??? Whats ur story????
“Aoife’s pregnant,” I decided to throw out there, deciding I had nothing to lose. “I’m about three and half months away from becoming a father myself, so I appreciate the offer, but the only family I’m interested in being a part of is the one I’ve made with her.” “Pregnant?” Edel’s eyes widened. “You don’t do things by halves, do you, Joey love?”
“I’m not your sister.” “You know this is the same bridge, right?” she sobbed, holding onto my body for dear life. “The same fucking spot, Joey!” No. I didn’t know that.
Omg
“They love you so fucking much it’s palpable. And your girlfriend? Aoife? Holy shit, lad, I have never seen someone look so in love with another human being in my life.”
“Then get good for her, dammit,” she snapped as the sound of fire engine sirens filled the air.
No.
PS: On the other side of this letter is a full confession of the shit that went down at home in my words, dated and signed. I want you to give it to John Kavanagh. It will help him in court when he goes for custody of my siblings.
Holy f
Tell them I was sorry. Tell them I loved them. Tell my son that I loved him. Tell yourself that I loved you most. I’ll be seeing ya, Molloy. xx
“I have them, Joey.” Four words that shook the foundations I was standing on, followed swiftly by four more. “I got them out.” “You have them?” Dizziness engulfed me as I tried to comprehend what the fuck he was saying. He had them? My kids? He had them? “You got them out?” He nodded vigorously as his arms came around my body. “Ollie, Tadhg, Sean, and Shannon.” Ollie. Tadhg. Sean. Shannon. Johnny Kavanagh had them?
Im sick
The only face I’d been able to see since I was twelve. Blond hair. Green eyes. Smiling. Loving. Warmth. Light. That face. Her face. Queen.
“Yeah,” he muttered, rubbing his jaw. “And look where being left to your own devices got you.” I narrowed my eyes in disgust. “It’s a good thing I’m reformed, because that snide comment deserves a smack in the mouth.”
“I was trying to help you,” Darren tried to explain. “You’re too young to be a father.” “I’ve always been a father!” I roared back, chest heaving. “And I’ve done a pretty fucking good job with the four I’ve raised. And yeah, I’m a mess, and yeah, I’m an addict, but I’m a good father! I’m a good fucking parent, Darren. I kept them alive. I kept them fed, and loved, and nurtured, and goddamn educated. I did that. Not you. Not him. Not Mam. Me. So, call me a junkie and whatever the hell else you want to call me, but don’t say that I’m too young to be a father!”
Damn straight
“Well, it doesn’t matter what you want, Dar, because this right here is my life,” I shot back, shaking. “It’s mine to live, and I plan on living it side by side with her. Because news flash, asshole, that girl is my life. Her and our baby. And if she wants a ring, she’ll get it. And a house, she’ll get that, too. And if the time comes where she wants more kids, then I’ll give them to her. Whatever she wants. Because we’re mirrors. Her and me. We’re aligned. That’s my future, Darren, and if you keep meddling in it, then you won’t be a part of it.”
“Yes,” Dr. B exclaimed, almost punching the air with excitement. “Fantastic, Joey.” Darren and I both turned to gape at her. “Excuse me?” “Verbalization,” she quickly explained. “Fantastic verbalization of your feelings. We have been working on this for months.” She smiled up at me like I was her favorite student and offered me a supportive thumbs-up, while every other member of my medical team looked on in horror.
“You can thank Gerard for those,” she said, pointing disapprovingly to the cigarette in my hand. “He smuggled three packets into the bags I packed for you today.” Good man, Gussie.
“Oh yeah, and fair warning, I haven’t seen my vagina since June, so you know what that means, don’t you?” “No, Molloy, I really don’t.” “It means you’ll be returning to the Amazon rain forest of vaginas.”
“There is no fucking way that I am ever wearing a blazer to school,” I growled, repressing a shiver. “I would rather shit in my hands and clap.”
“Shannon is just dying to see you,” she continued, tone light. “She’s been in the kitchen since the crack of dawn with Ollie and Sean. They’re baking you a cake.”
Ill cry
“How did they take it?” Edel grinned. “Ollie’s thrilled to pieces. Tadhg’s…Tadhg. Shannon’s been nonstop shopping for baby clothes. Johnny and Gerard have been stocking up on preventive measures, and Seany? Well, he’s a little young to grasp the concept of being an uncle.”
“And I already told you that we’re keeping you.” She chuckled. “Finders keepers, Joey love. You’re mine now.” Jesus.
“Our girl here is a MILF!” Grinning wickedly, she added, “And when Joey the DILF gets home, there’s going to be explosions.”
Without a word, I collected every candle, wreath, and bouquet of flowers his family had left for him and tossed them over the nearby wall. “How does it feel, old man?” I asked, returning to his graveside and undoing the fly on my jeans. “To finally burn in hell?”
“O-ee.” He didn’t hesitate to scramble onto my lap. “Seany loves O-ee,” he whispered in my ear as he stroked my cheeks with his chubby little hands. “O-ee make Seany happy.”
“Yeah, I know,” I coaxed, upping the pace of the patting. “You need to take a big shit, don’t ya? Come on, big man. Get it out. Daddy’s here.” Several minutes ticked by and then I felt a sudden flush of heat against my hand, along with an impressive five-second-long fart. “That’s my lad,” I praised, pulling him back to look at me. “Did you leave me a present?”
Dad of the year
I’d spent enough time in this house to know that every night before bed, Molloy’s parents shared a pot of tea at the kitchen table and dissected the day’s events. It was a stark contrast to what happened at the kitchen table in the home I’d been raised in.
Wordlessly, she took my hand in hers and placed it to her chest. “Feel that?” “Yeah.” Her heart was hammering violently against my palm. “I feel it.” “That’s you,” she whispered. “That’s what you do to me.” “Still?” “Then. Still. Always.”
“Ride or die, Joe.”
“Because in this version of forever, we get the happy ending, Molloy.”
