“Yeah, I know,” I coaxed, upping the pace of the patting. “You need to take a big shit, don’t ya? Come on, big man. Get it out. Daddy’s here.” Several minutes ticked by and then I felt a sudden flush of heat against my hand, along with an impressive five-second-long fart. “That’s my lad,” I praised, pulling him back to look at me. “Did you leave me a present?”
Dad of the year
