“I have a hard time with living,” I admitted. “Being alive is a challenge for me because I don’t work right. I don’t seem to have the right tools for going through the motions. It’s like I’m stuck on fight mode. I’m constantly watching for danger. Doesn’t matter if it’s there or not, I’m programed to sniff it out. Wasn’t so bad when I self-medicated. The drugs took the edge off everything. Made being alive bearable. Until I couldn’t go an hour without them. Then I wanted to live even less.”
