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While the rest of his friends had long since abandoned their girlfriends and dates, Gibsie hadn’t taken more than three steps away from Claire all night.
Our eyes met, green on green, and he winked at me from across the room. And just like that, I was ruined.
“Well, that’s bad fucking luck on my account, because you sure as shit own me!”
“I’m not your mother or your sister. I’m not another girl who needs something from you. I’m the girl who wholeheartedly wants you. I’m the girl who wholeheartedly loves you. The hurler. The mechanic. The boy. The protector. The asshole. The lover. The addict.”
“You know I’ve got your back, right?”
“I am so down for you, Joey Lynch.”
“Ride or die, Joe.”
“Ride or die, Molloy.”
“Get your bag,” he instructed. “I’ll get the bottle.”
“Already on it,” I replied, bumping his fist with mine as we moved in opposite directions.
Where she saw weakness, I saw strength. Where she saw fear, I saw resilience. Unlike me, Shannon didn’t need to alter her mind to survive the world we lived in. She thought she was the weakest link in the family chain, when it couldn’t be further from the truth. My sister was titanium.
Joey was, in my biased opinion, the best thing to come out of Teddy and Marie Lynch’s fucked-up marriage, and the fact that his own mother couldn’t see beyond his jagged edges made me furious.
“Hey, stud.”
“Hey, queen.”
“You’re a diamond, Joey Lynch.”
I’m an addict, you’re a bitch,”
“Because I’m your brother,” he snapped, closing the space between them and tucking her under his arm. “That’s what I’m supposed to do.”
“You call and I come running,” he told them in a gruff tone, but his eyes were locked on mine as he spoke. “Every time.”
No wonder he would rather throw himself into traffic than have a child, I thought. He already has four.
That would be your baby.
“Shannon like the river, and Joey the hurler.”
“But yeah, I reckon my sister is a small bit obsessed with your best friend, too.”
“You’re a freak.”
“You can’t even protect yourself!” I roared, losing my cool as my pain hemorrhaged out of my body in words. “I’m doing that, Shannon. Me! I’m the one trying to soften the blows, and they just keep coming!”
“Then maybe you and Dad will both get lucky and he’ll finish me off the next time,” she sobbed, dropping her head in her hands. “It’ll save you the worry and him the energy.”
“Loving your son is effortless,”
“God loves a trier,” Casey agreed, eyes dancing with mischief. “But Aoife loves Joey.”
“You hurt yourself and that’s the same thing,” I choked out. “Because when you hurt, I hurt. When you burn, I go down in flames with you. We’re entwined, Joe. We’re mirrors. Don’t you get that by now?”
“Okay.” Sighing heavily, she climbed off her bed and walked right up to me, wrapping her skinny arms around my waist. “But only because you are my favorite brother.”
“Because I hate to break it to ya, Lynchy, but that sister of yours is a ride.”
“She’s no baby, lad,” he said with a chuckle. “Shannon Lynch is sweet sixteen and looks like a wet dream.”
“I’m scared to be in my own head, Molloy,”
“I’ve loved your daughter for six years,” Joey finally broke his silence by saying. “I can easily love her for another eighteen.”
There was a softness to Joey’s eyes that his father’s eyes were void of. He had his mother’s nose, I noted, and her high cheekbones, too. Similar to his sister, he had swollen, puffy lips that they had also clearly inherited from her. And sure, while they were both tall, broad, tanned, and blond, Teddy Lynch had cold, dead, emotionless brown eyes, while emerald-colored embers of fire burned in his son’s eyes. The two were like fire and ice. He had a lot more of his mother in him than anyone realized.
“Are you going to still want me when I’m the size of a whale?”
“Hey, Sexy Legs, I slapped the shit out of your brother just now,” Alec declared, sinking down on the table in front of us. “Hope ya don’t mind.”
“Can I keep one of these?” he asked, holding up the long strip of sonogram images.
Shannon. Thump, thump, thump. Shannon. Thump, thump, thump. Shannon. Thump, thump, thump.
The war zone I was standing in. Blood and tears. Pain and pressure. It was too much.
He might not be able to hurt me, but when he hurt her, it fucking shredded me.
“You think you have a life without me?” he continued to taunt her. “You are nothing without me, bitch. The only way you’re leaving me is in a box. I’ll kill ya before I let you leave me. Do ya hear me? I’ll burn this fucking house to the ground with you and your cunts in it before I let ya go!”
She’s dying. She’s dying. Get up. Get the fuck up and help her.
“Don’t fucking speak to me!” my boyfriend roared, pointing a finger at his long-lost brother. “Don’t fucking look at me.” Turning back to his mother, he hissed, “I understand why you couldn’t tell Dad, and I get why you didn’t tell the boys and Shannon. But me?” His lip wobbled and I felt my heart crack when he asked, “Why couldn’t you tell me?”
“And she’s the mother of my kid. So, don’t even think about pulling that card,” he sneered. “Because she wins. Every damn time.”
“Don’t talk to me about what’s fair,” I came close to screaming. “Look at his face.”
“Look at his face,” I repeated, voice rising right along with my temper. “Take a good fucking look, Marie. Because that’s your son.” Furious, I pointed to my boyfriend. “He’s just as much your child as Shannon or the boys or him.”
“Then fucking act like it!” I hissed, narrowing my eyes in disgust. “Stop treating him like an afterthought. He’s not a fucking afterthought, okay? You can’t just show up here and lay down the law after not checking in on him once! It doesn’t work like that, and I won’t stand by and let you sink your twisted claws any deeper into him than you already have—”
With my eyes rolling back in my head, and my legs twitching sporadically, I lay on my side, trying to focus on the needle in my arm.
Pain. Relief. Fury. Devastation. I was feeling everything in this moment.
“Guys, that’s a hedgehog.”
