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“Are you serious?” I took a step back, feeling like she had just knifed me in the gut. “You think I’m not hurting?” “I don’t know how you feel anymore.” “In love,” I bit out. “With you.”
While the rest of his friends had long since abandoned their girlfriends and dates, Gibsie hadn’t taken more than three steps away from Claire all night.
“You can’t tell me what to do, Joe,” I growled, feeling a combination of drunk and dizzy. “You don’t own me.” “Well, that’s bad fucking luck on my account, because you sure as shit own me!” Drunk or not, his words hit me like a wrecking ball to the chest. Feeling the air whoosh from my lungs, I glared up at him, feeling a torrent of emotions crashing through me. “Why would you say that to me?” “Because it’s the truth.” “Since when?” “Since I was twelve.”
Because every part of me loved every part of her. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
With a dull ache in my chest, I forced myself to comply. To give this girl whatever she wanted. “I love you.”
“Stop trying to protect me and start making me happy,” she countered, eyes locked on mine. “Because it’s time to pick your poison, Joey Lynch.”
“Then let me be very clear about it,” he replied, reaching up to cup the side of my face. “It’s you, Molloy.” He tipped my chin up, forcing me to look at him. “It’s you.” “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.” “It’s you,” he repeated gruffly, fingers tightening on my waist. “I pick you. Every single time.”
“What I did at Christmas? How far I went? It scared the shit out of me, and all I could think about was if I didn’t get you away from me, I would end up destroying my world, because that’s what you are to me, Aoife. You’re my whole goddamn world wrapped up in one girl. So, yeah, maybe I’ve gone about it entirely the wrong way, but all I’ve ever tried to do is protect you.”
“I’m not your mother or your sister. I’m not another girl who needs something from you. I’m the girl who wholeheartedly wants you. I’m the girl who wholeheartedly loves you. The hurler. The mechanic. The boy. The protector. The asshole. The lover. The addict.” Sniffling, I added, “All of your versions. All of your shapes and colors. I accept them all. So, I don’t care how fucked up in the head you get, or how bad of an idea you decide you are for me. If you can’t be with me, warts and all, then walk away now, because I won’t go through this again with you.”
“Uh-huh. Come on, Tony Soprano.” Wrapping my arm around his waist, I slid my hand into his back pocket and leaned in to his warm side. “This time, you can look after me.”
I couldn’t understand it, much less explain it, but when I was with her, I felt like I was drowning and breathing at once. I felt like I was riding this thrilling wave, and it didn’t matter if I fell or not because I could only land on softness.
“Ride or die, Joe.”
“Ride or die, Molloy.”
“I love you back.” “I’m going to get this right, Molloy.” “I know you are, Joe.” “You’re really sticking around, aren’t ya?” “Afraid so.” I smiled in the darkness. “For the ring. The white dress. The white picket fence. The whole nine yards.” “Jesus.” He chuckled. “Don’t push it.” “I always push it, Joe.” “Understatement of the century, Molloy.” “When we get engaged—” “We’re not getting engaged.” “I want a ring the size of my fist.” He snorted. “Good luck with that.” “And when we get married—” “We’re not getting married.” “I want a big house in the country, with a huge four-poster bed and one
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“You’re heading for the U20’s tour with the Irish squad in May, aren’t ya?” “Probably.” “Ask him for a few tickets,” Tony mouthed, nudging my arm. “I can’t do that,” I mouthed back, glaring at him. “Do it.” “No.” “Ask him.” “No.” “Do it for your boss.” “No.” “Fine. Do it for your future father-in-law.”
His hot mouth was on my neck then, but it didn’t feel right. His sharp, wet tongue trailing down the side of my neck felt all wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, my body assured me. It was at that moment that I took sight of the reflection in the window over the sink and my blood ran cold.
“I need to not be near you right now, okay?” “Aoife.” “Because every time I look at you, all I can see is—” “Him,” he deadpanned, immediately releasing his hold on me. “Got it.” Nodding stiffly, he backed up to the gate, looking more crushed and broken than I’d ever seen him. “I hear ya, Molloy.”
“Because I made a mistake, Aoife,” she replied in a shaky tone. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes when it comes to my son, but this is one that I hope I can make right.” She looked me in the eyes then, imploring me to hear her when she said, “Don’t give up on him, Aoife. Please don’t give up on my boy.”