Keeping 13 (Boys of Tommen, #2)

by Chloe Walsh

I hadn’t realized just how much until I looked into those midnight-blue eyes and was met with an almost mirror replica of my own secrets and pain. I was hurt and scared for reasons completely different to hers, but something snapped into place for me that day, and I hadn’t been the same since.

She happened to me when I least expected her.

It took me some time to figure out what was happening to me, to understand the feelings thrashing through me, but once I did, once I accepted what I was feeling and set my sights on her, I was all in.

I honest to god felt like I was drowning in everything she was. Her pain, her smiles, her horrible fucking family, her playful personality—the one that peeked out when we were alone together. I was completely caught up in her.

Fuck addictive, I was obsessed with my girlfriend. I was in so deep with her that I could hardly breathe and still I jumped in deeper, pushed down further, wanted more and took it, doing whatever I could to just be with her.

Her words were powerful to me. They affected me more deeply than she realized. Those small affirmations helped me drag my arse out of the bed each morning when my body screamed in protest.

I loved her more than was safe for me.

“I love you,” I whispered between kisses, over and over again, as emotions I’d never felt in my life battered through me—all for, because of, and directed toward this girl. “I love you so much, Shannon like the river.”

“I know I’m not supposed to be here, but I had to keep my promise.” I stared at him in confusion. “What promise?” “I told you when we slept together, we would sleep together,” he said gruffly. “And I know I made a balls of the first part.” With a vulnerable look in his eyes, Johnny shrugged and gestured to my tiny bed. “But do you think you can fit me in for the second part?”

“I just need to hold you.”

wanting more than anything to just keep him with me for the rest of my life.

“You’re my everything.”

“Shannon like the river,” he purred, hopping down to his feet. Gesturing to his body, he winked. “I’m here for your inspection.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do with you, Shannon Lynch,” he admitted in a husky voice. “You make me lose my head.”

Smirking, he said, “Je veux lécher la chatte de ma copine.” I frowned. “What?” Johnny grinned devilishly. “I said, je veux être à l’intérieur de toi.”

I felt the absence of his touch in the deepest part of my soul as I walked away with Darren.

“No, you don’t,” I said hoarsely. “I love that girl. Like, I really fucking love her, and I can’t cope with knowing she’s in that house right now. I lose sleep worrying about her.”

“I’m saying I can’t leave her in that house, Da. Not with that woman, and not with him sniffing around. I can’t walk away, not for an entire month, not knowing whether she’s safe or not, so if there’s a chance I can get her out of that place, then I’ll take it.” I looked at my parents. “Save her.” Swallowing, I added, “Save them all.”

“I called you to come help me and you didn’t pick up.” A lone tear trickled down his cheek. “And then I knew. I said to myself, That’s how. That’s how I turned out like this.” Sniffling, he locked eyes on Mam. “Because you broke me!”

“You fucked my head up worse than he ever did,” Joey roared into her face. “He hurt me, but you wrecked me. He used his fists, but you?” Joey tapped his finger against his temple. “You got in my head. You broke my mind. I don’t work right anymore and it’s because your voice is stuck in my head. The sound of you crying and begging me to help you is all I can hear. Every time I close my eyes, you’re there. In my head. Crying for me. Begging me. Screaming ‘Save me, Joey. Save me.’ But I couldn’t ever save you, Mam. I couldn’t save you because you didn’t want me to! You wanted him to be here! You wanted all of this to happen—”

“I have nothing to give you!” he roared brokenly. “I’m not good for you. Why can’t you get that into your head?”

I cried for my broken home, for my fucked-up family, for my little brothers, but mostly I cried for Joey, for self-destructing and detonating the one good thing he had in his life.

“I’d do anything for you, Shannon like the river,” Johnny replied gruffly, pulling me in to his side. “Anything.” I believed him, but I wished he didn’t have to.

“She’s not going anywhere,” I hissed, feeling anxious and wildly protective. “I don’t give a shite what you, Darren, or any bleeding Gards say. You’re not taking Shannon back there. I’m keeping her here with me!”

“You’re s-singing.” Sniffling, she clung to my chest. “‘Here Comes the Sun.’” I was singing. I was doing whatever I could to make this better for her. “That’s m-my Granda Murphy’s s-song,” she hiccupped. “You remember me t-telling you t-that?”

Instead, I concentrated on the deep timbre of his voice as he sang the words of the Beatles’ “Here Comes the Sun” in my ear over and over.

“You’re my little darling,” Johnny whispered. His large hand cupped the back of my head as he held me to his chest, slowly rocking our bodies. “My little darling is safe with me.”

“Just close your eyes.” I felt his lips against my hair. “I’ll be here watching over you.”

“I’ve got you, Johnny,” Gibsie said, wrapping his arms around me just before I collapsed in a heap. “I’m right here, lad,” he whispered, lowering us both to the ground. “Let it out.” So I did.

“I don’t want any more space,” she whispered, shifting closer. “I just want you.”

“Yeah, well, you saved mine a long time ago,” I replied gruffly. “I was only returning the favor.”

“I want you here,” I interrupted her by saying. “I want you in my space, Shannon.” Twisting sideways, I tipped her chin up, forcing her to meet my gaze. “There’s nowhere else I want you to be than right here with me and my family, okay?”

“I love you,” Shannon whispered, still holding my face in her hands. “For keeps.” Exhaling a ragged breath, I kissed her swollen lips. “Most in the world.”

“You smell like home.” Shivering, I curled my body around hers and pressed a kiss to the curve of her jaw. “You are home.”

S: You’ve got this, Johnny Kavanagh. Go show them what you’re made of and shine. I’m proud of you. I love you. (A crazy fucking amount.) xx

I knew in my heart that the only reason I was managing to hold it together was the boy who was sitting in the pew directly behind mine. Every instinct inside of me was demanding I climb over the pew and seek comfort in my boyfriend’s arms, but I held firm, staying strong for my brothers.

She wasn’t looking at me. Her entire focus was on my brother as she watched him like he was a precious jewel that could vanish at any moment.

keeping my eyes trained on Johnny’s white shirt—the only white shirt in a sea of dark jackets.

I didn’t feel the full force of my apprehension until this exact moment in time as I was hit with the sudden realization that I didn’t want any of this without her.

meant absolutely nothing if it took me away from her.

“I’m scared to take this and lose you.”

“You’re my queen,” he purred, slapping his thighs. “So come here and let me worship ya.”

“Are you going to ruin me, Shannon like the river?”

“Are you going to break me?”

“I love you, Shannon like the river,”

“And I’m coming home to you.”

“We all have our secrets,” Johnny replied quietly. “We’re all a little fractured, Shan.”

“I’m coming home,” I told her. “Regardless of what happens.” Brushing a tear from her face, I kissed her damp cheek. “I’m coming back to you, Shannon like the river.”

“But don’t forget that you’ll always be my 13.” She sniffled and wiped my cheek with her fingers. “My binding 13.”

“Now, I’m keeping 13,” she told me. “So come home to me when you’re done, okay?” “I will.”