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I was programmed to do as I was told. It was a basic survival skill that I had honed to perfection. It was what had kept me alive up to this point.
“Keep that pretty head of yours up, Shannon like the river.”
“I need you to take the lead here, Shannon,” he whispered. “You need to tell me what you want from me.” I could feel his heart hammering hard in his chest. The rhythm seemed to match mine. “Because I’m not making any mistakes with you.”
“I don’t just like you. I fucking—” Shaking his head, Johnny rubbed his jaw before looking back at me. “Shannon, I love you.” I stopped breathing. “You love me?” He nodded slowly, blue eyes locked on mine. “Like, a crazy fucking amount.”
“I’m in love with you. I think I’ve been that way for a while now—a long fucking while, if we’re being totally honest.”
“You asked me what I wanted? There’s a lot of things, but in a nutshell, I just want you.” Shrugging, he added, “And I’m kind of hoping that you’re going to say that you want me, too.”
“It’s like a Great Dane and a Chihuahua trying to mate, but they somehow make it work.”
I’ve never been able to connect with anyone like that.” He shrugged helplessly, blue eyes locked on mine. “Until one day I looked up from my life and there you were. All blue eyes and full of secrets.” He cleared his throat several times before saying, “And I’ve never felt more connected.”
“That from the very first day you walked into my life, you changed me. That very first time I saw you? You sparked to life something inside of me.” Releasing a heavy sigh, he shrugged again, eyes locked on mine. “And I haven’t been the same since.”
“I’m not in any hurry.” I felt his lips brush the top of my head. “Not with you.”
“I don’t want to feel this way anymore,” she told me, wiping her cheek with the back of her hand. “I don’t want this version of life. I don’t want to be this version of me.” “I love this version of you,” I told her, unsure of what else there was to say. I couldn’t tell her not to feel the way she did. All I could do was reassure her. “I love all your versions.”
A cord of connection channeling deep inside of me and linking to her. I hoped she never left me, because I was never going to get over this girl.
I wanted to give her a good day to make up for the bad ones, or at the very least make her day a little better.
Christ, she had me hook, line, and sinker, as I trailed after her like she was holding a fishing rod with a line that was attached to something deep inside of me.
But it was different with Shannon. Everything was different when it came to her.
Maybe I was addicted to him, and maybe it wasn’t healthy
He could destroy me in more ways than one. The thing was, I didn’t care what he did to my body so long as he left my heart intact.
“I’m going to keep you,” he whispered and his hot breath fanned my face. “If that’s okay?” “That’s definitely okay,” I breathed, pressing my hand to his cheek. “I want you to keep me.”
“I’m not in your corner, Shannon,” Johnny replied in a gruff tone. “I’m standing right beside you.”
“I’m just saying that it would be easier for you if—” “Well, I don’t want easy. I want you,” he cut me off by saying. “Just the way you are.” My breath hitched in my throat. “Really?” “Really,” he confirmed, not missing a beat. “Every part and every piece.” I grimaced. “Even the broken parts?” He winked. “Especially the broken parts.”
“I’m with you. All of you. Every part. Good and bad. I’m staying. So don’t hide this part from me.”
Because in the morning when I woke up, I knew better was waiting for me. So much better.
“I love you, Shannon like the river,” he said, breaking through my depressing thoughts. “Only you.”
I felt too much for her. I loved her more than was safe for me.
“You saved my life, Johnny.” Shivering, she leaned her cheek against my arm and exhaled a ragged breath. “You saved my brothers’ lives.” “Yeah, well, you saved mine a long time ago,”
Shifting around so that my other arm was under her head, she nuzzled her cheek against my arm and inhaled a deep breath. “You smell like home.” Shivering, I curled my body around hers and pressed a kiss to the curve of her jaw. “You are home.”
I’d earned it. I wanted it. Jesus, of course I wanted it. More than almost anything in the world. Just not more than her.
“You’ll never be her,” he continued to ramble. “And I’ll never be him.” “You promise?” He nodded. “I promise a million billion promises.”
Everything was different now. I wasn’t the same girl from nine months ago. I was a completely different person, with a new home and a new family. All because I made the reckless decision to take a shortcut through a rugby pitch and crash into the boy who had changed my life. The boy who had saved my life.
