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Because Aoife gave him something that day, something to cling to. Hope for the future.
“Fuck. Them,” she added with a meaningful stare. “Yes! Fuck them,” Gibsie cheered. “You tell her, babe.” “Shush, Gerard,”
“Maybe
I worded that wrong and was a tad insensitive given the circumstances, but you know what I mean. I’m saying this because I care about you, because I love you, Shan, and I’m done with watching people push you around. And, quite frankly, you should be done, too. Stop worrying about everyone else and think about yourself for a change. Live your life.”
“Whoa there, stallion,” Claire said, waving a hand in the air. “Steady up. I said she needed normal teenage experiences, but don’t go jumping the gun here.”
“I can’t,” Claire said with a heavy sigh. “Not since Mam found out that you—” She snapped her mouth shut. Her face turned a deep shade of red and she gave Gibsie a look that said “And you know why” before hurrying on. “I just can’t.” I was surprised to see that Gibsie actually blushed, too. “Well, well, well,” Johnny mused, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Looks like someone else”—he paused to make air quotes—“jumped the gun.”
“Needle and thread.” Gibsie snickered. “Nice visual, lad.” “Shut up, Gerard!” Johnny and Claire both growled in unison.
“Shut up, Gerard!” “Shutting up, Claire-Bear.”
“I want you here,” he told me, never taking his eyes off mine. “I want you to stay with me.” Oh god. My heart. These words. This boy.
Liar, liar. You want to stay with him.
Johnny was grinning triumphantly at Claire but quickly sobered his features to a somber nod when he noticed me staring. “Absolutely,” he replied. “I want you.”
“Okay,” I agreed and then backpedaled. “Wait…huh?” “Your eyes,” he said, tone gruff. “I need them on me.” I blew out a shaky breath. “You do?” Johnny nodded slowly, tightening his hold on my waist. “How else am I supposed to know what you’re thinking?”
“I’m going to buy you dinner, Shannon.” Closing the space between us, he lowered himself down on the couch and turned to face me. “Sometimes we’ll eat here and sometimes we’ll go out, but it’s going to be a regular occurrence, so don’t overthink it, okay?”
“If you had a million quid in your arse pocket, I wouldn’t have you pay for me,” Johnny interrupted, tipping my chin up with his fingers. His blue eyes bored holes in mine as he spoke. “And you can call that a sexist or an old-fashioned way of thinking, but in all honesty, I don’t give a shite. If we’re eating together, I’m feeding you.”
“Shannon, I…” He stopped himself short and released a heavy sigh. “Come here,” he said instead, lifting his arm. “Let me keep you warm.”
“No, it’s not the meds.” It’s the fact that I’ve spent days rehearsing what I want to say to you in my head, and now I can’t get the words out. “I don’t know what happened to me.” You happened to me, and now I’m completely fucked. “I’m just running on empty, I guess.” Because we’ve been sitting here all night and still haven’t addressed the elephant in the room. “Sorry, Shan.”
“I don’t just like you. I fucking—” Shaking his head, Johnny rubbed his jaw before looking back at me. “Shannon, I love you.” I stopped breathing. “You love me?” He nodded slowly, blue eyes locked on mine. “Like, a crazy fucking amount.” “Really?” “Really,” he confirmed. “And I’d ask your permission, but I didn’t even ask mine.”
“I’ll give you anything you need, baby.” Shaking his head, he groaned like he was in pain. “I just…I want to make you happy.”
There was a line in a man’s life that no one crossed. That line for me was my ma. No one fucked with her.
“Shannon Lynch?” I called out, ignoring the rest of her fucked-up family. “I love you back.” Sniffling, she lifted her chin from Joey’s chest and looked at me all red-eyed and blotchy. “S-still?” “Still.” I nodded in confirmation. “Like, a crazy fucking amount.”
I had an old lady feeling my ball sac, and another two equally ancient female nurses standing over me, smiling at me in encouragement. One of them was actually giving me a thumbs-up.
“War paint, makeup… Whatever. It’s all the fucking same to me,”
“Eat shit,” Joey sneered, holding his middle finger up as he thundered down the staircase.
“I’m worried,” Gibsie shot back huffily. “I’m being a concerned friend.” “You’re being a freak,” Feely offered dryly.
“You heard the man,” Gibsie ordered, good mood forgotten as he pointed a finger toward the hallway. “Just keep on walking.”
“Not on your life, princess,” Gibsie roared after her. “I wouldn’t touch you with McGarry’s dick!”
“Lads, let Cap’s misfortune be a warning to us all of the dangers that lurk behind a decent pair of tits,” Gibsie announced. “When in doubt, rub one out.”
“Are you saying that you want my dick, Gibs?” Hughie teased. “I’m saying I want your sister’s pussy,” Gibsie shot back, waggling his brows. There it is… “Around my cock,” Gibsie continued. “Gibs,” I warned. “On my face.” “Gibsie!” Feely groaned. “All over me.”
“She wasn’t saying that last night,” he replied, completely unfazed. “When I was—” “Filter, Gibs!” I barked. “Jesus Christ, lad! Filter.”
“If you want to know what I want, then ask me,” Johnny repeated, closing the space between us. “All you have to do is ask me.” His hand came down, gently cupping my elbow. “And I’ll tell you.” I felt dizzy when I croaked out, “What do you want, Johnny?” “For a start, I want you to look me in the eyes when you talk to me,” Johnny replied, blue eyes burning holes so deep inside of me, I doubted they could ever be repaired. “Second, I want you to stop worrying about things you can’t control. Like Darren and your ma.”
“I’m a lot of trouble.” “I like your trouble,” he countered, stepping closer. “My life is complicated.” “I want your complications.”
“I’m going to do a lot of things for you, Shannon.”
“And I’m going to buy you a lot of stuff.” He took a step back, never taking his eyes off me, and shrugged unapologetically. “Fair warning.”
“You’re an eejit,” I muttered wearily. “An eejit with great tits, apparently,” he shot back with a wink.
“It’s like a Great Dane and a Chihuahua trying to mate, but they somehow make it work.”
“But, Liz, he actually picked her up to kiss her!” “Yeah, Claire, I know. I have eyes, too. Stop being such a weirdo.”
“Do you want me to come with you?” Johnny blew my mind by asking. “We could go now. Get it over and done with.” My eyes widened. “You would do that?” “Of course,” he replied gruffly. “Would you be allowed in there with me?” “I’d like to see him stop me,”
“Hmm.” Claire shrugged again, like it was a normal thing to be swapping lollipop saliva with Gibsie. “It’s good.”
“Why don’t you just tell him how you feel?” I asked gently. “It’s obvious that he feels the same way.” “He doesn’t,” she mumbled. “It’s all about the chase for him. If I give in now, he’ll get bored.”
“I’ll come anywhere you want if you just show me that thong,” Gibsie pleaded, dropping his hands to her waist. “I’ll clean all the pots. I’ll do anything. Just one peek. That’s all I’m asking.” “You’ll come anyway,” she huffed, catching ahold of his school tie and dragging him out of her room. “You’ve got that right,” he agreed, trailing after her like a puppy dog on a lead. “Is your bra red, too?” “I’m not wearing one.”
Baby? Oh god.
