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I can’t help who I look like, but I am nothing like that man in any other way.” “You are,” she said before leaving the room. “In every way.” And with those words, my mother cut me deeper and more viciously than my father ever had. Ever could.
To the girl with the best legs at school. Here’s a Valentine’s card. If you are reading this card, it means that you opened my folds, so it’s only fair that I get to open yours. From Alec.” I laughed.
“No wonder your dick is trying to levitate off the bed. It’s been set on ready-steady-fuck mode, Joe!”
“Promise me that you’ll…never…give in to them.” “Give in to who, Granda?” Gasping and wheezing for air, he looked me right in the eyes, green eyes on green and whispered, “The demons your father put in your head.”
“The fact that I got a tattoo of my boyfriend’s name on my ass like some slut, or the fact that I did it with a tampon string dangling between my legs!”
“Hey, Joe, do you think I’m dramatic?” “Only when you’re awake.”
One minute I was twelve years old and locking eyes on her at the school gates, and the next I was seventeen, standing in her house, about to tell her father that she was mine.
That small boy asked me for a chance that day,” he added, voice thick with emotion. “I took a chance on that boy, and I’m glad that I did because the man that small boy turned into is a man who I am damn proud of.”
“You’re all I have to wake up for in the morning.”
She was the only bit of brightness I had in my life, and it scared me to think of how little else I had going for me. Without her, I had nothing. Without her, I was nothing.
She didn’t care. She didn’t give a damn about me. All I was good for was holding the fort. For carrying the burden. For taking the weight off her shoulders. She didn’t care, and that concept made me want to peel the skin from my bones.
“We’re going to have another baby,” Mam told me. And there it was. The last ounce of hope left in my heart being snuffed out.
I was completely fucking unraveling and I couldn’t stop it from happening. It had happened. I had finally hit my limit. I had nothing left in the tank. Nothing left to give these people. I was done. Gone. Dead inside.
I was selfish when I dragged you into my world. Now, I need to put you first.”
“You might not want me to say goodbye, but you need me to.”
“If I don’t walk away from you now, I never will.”
Molloy didn’t know what it felt like to wake up every morning with a strong inclination to attempt suicide. She didn’t know how it felt to be a helpless child, half-starved from hunger, and even more starved for a way out of a home he wasn’t wanted in.
She would never understand how it felt to transition from controlling your life with something you once enjoyed to becoming controlled by the very thing you now despised.
