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“Don’t worry, Dar. I know you’re gay. I’m only messing with ya—” “Jesus Christ, Joey!” Darren hissed, clamping a hand on my shoulder. He looked around us, eyes wild and panicked, before he released a breath and muttered, “Not so loud, okay?” “Why do you do that?” I demanded, good mood forgotten as I shook his hand off, feeling my temper rise. “Why do you hide who you are?” He shook his head, blue eyes laced with pain. “Joey.” “No, it’s bullshit, Dar,” I pushed, unwilling to let it go. “I’m not ashamed of you, and you shouldn’t be, either.” “I’m not ashamed of myself,” he replied quietly.
...more
JOEYY <3
“I don’t want fifty more girls,” I replied, twisting back to find her still watching me. “I just want that girl.”
Hes only 12 and HE KNEWWWWWW
“Does it matter?” I countered, needing to regain some ground I had lost to this powerhouse of a girl. “We both know that you’ll be calling me ‘baby’ by the end of the day.”
GOODBYEEEEE WITH THE LINERSSSSS JOEYYYY
was twelve years old and a frontline soldier in the war that raged within my family home. The enemy I found myself up against was bigger and stronger, and my ally had abandoned me when I needed him most.
THIS !!!!
“I’m too tired to fight with you.” “And I’m too tired to clean up any more of your messes,” I hissed. “You keep us here in this fucking house of pain. It’s your choice, and you choose him every single time. Darren was right to get the fuck out of this place.”
My Joey <\3
And with those words, my mother cut me deeper and more viciously than my father ever had. Ever could.
Oh helllllllll nahhhhhhhhhhhh
She laughed, reaching up to pat my cheek. “And just so you know, Joe…” She leaned in close and pressed a kiss to my cheek. “You’re my favorite friend, with my favorite everything.” Well, shit.
AHHHHHH
“No,” I confirmed with a shake of my head. “I don’t love Paul, and I have no plans on that status changing.” “Why not?” “Because I have no intention of giving a boy that kind of power over me,” I replied simply. “From my viewpoint, men let you down. Even the good ones like Dad can’t be trusted. So why would I ever expose myself to that kind of pain? It would be emotional suicide.”
SHE SAID WHAT SHE SAID
“I’m not afraid of loving a boy,” I told her honestly. “I’m afraid of losing myself in one.”
I watched as they clamped the umbilical cord that connected him to our mother, and I wondered if the cord that attached me to her had ever been truly severed. It was invisible but still connecting me deeply to the woman who bore me. I wanted to let it all go. To just let the pain and pressure fall from my shoulders.
“You mixed erectile dysfunction medication with cocaine?” she screeched. “Are you insane!” “I didn’t fucking know, did I?” “No wonder your dick is trying to levitate off the bed. It’s been set on ready-steady-fuck mode, Joe!”
LMFAOOOOOOOOOO
“You okay, Joe?” my sister asked, reaching up to touch my shoulder. “You look sad.” “It’s okay.” I forced a smile. “Everything is going to be okay.” “Yeah?” I nodded. “Yeah, Shan.” Because I won’t ever leave you.
TRYING NOT TO CRY IN PUBLIC
