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“Don’t hate me, Molloy,” Joey mumbled, falling into the passenger seat the moment I let him go to open the car door. “You’re all I have to wake up for in the morning.”
I knew that beneath all of the pain and bullshit, there was someone worth saving in there.
No matter what, I would be right beside him, ready to pull him back to safety. Even if it meant that I lost myself in the process.
“You are my bestestest friend in the whole wide world of Ballylaggin, Aoife Molloy.” “And you’re mine, Casey Lordan,”
“Because I want to look that bastard in the eyes and show him that you have someone ready and willing to go to war both with you and for you.”
“I understand the temptation. I was your age once. I understand all about the temptation that comes with loving a boy like my son. He’s handsome and talented, headstrong and protective, wild and reckless. But just remember that protectiveness can switch to possessiveness in the blink of an eye. Headstrong can switch to commanding, and, well, recklessness can lead to more than just addiction.”
as first love may seem, it will never be strong enough to overcome his demons. He will never want you more than he wants his next fix, Aoife.
I gave my body over to him, trusting him with the only thing that still remained mine, because God knew my heart was his.
When I didn’t feel well, I self-medicated. When my sister didn’t feel well, she starved herself half to death.
I would rather slit my wrists than put hands on a female.
I’d gotten the better of him. Finally, after almost eighteen years of taking his shit, he had to be protected from me.
None of the boys in our year could fight like Joey, because unlike the trivial fights they got into, when my boyfriend fought, it was a matter of life and death.
Aoife Molloy had a heart of gold and was hell-bent on handing it over to a piece of shit like me. She was my momentary escape from all of the fucking dark. She was the only bit of brightness I had in my life, and it scared me to think of how little else I had going for me. Without her, I had nothing. Without her, I was nothing.
“Because you might not love yourself, but I do. I love you enough for the both of us,”
The strings that bonded us together, from my siblings’ hearts to mine, was so forceful that they kept me bound to this house.
I was in love with an addict. It was as humiliating as it was heartbreaking.
I felt like I was the other woman in a twisted love triangle between him, my heart, and his latest drug of choice.
I wanted to rescue him, to shield him from the horrors he had been born into. I wanted to be his armor when he couldn’t fight back. I wanted to wade into battle for him, protect his beautiful soul. But I’d been so determined to save him that I hadn’t noticed I’d lost myself in the process. Our love was toxic.
“I want you to know that you’ve been the best part of my day every day since I was twelve years old.”
“You were like an island. Somewhere for me to go and escape. Somewhere safe. Someone to anchor me, if that even makes sense. And I took advantage of that when I had no right to. I was selfish when I dragged you into my world. Now, I need to put you first.”
Whether it was love or duty that kept me shackled here, the lines were too blurred to differentiate, but one thing I was sure of was that I would never become to them what Darren had become to me. I would never abandon them. If I could do nothing else, I would spare them that pain.
She could have all of the rugby-obsessed boys of Tommen she wanted, because the only boy I wanted to spend tonight with came with a hurley, a BCS uniform, and a truckload of trauma.
“I was willing to walk away because I knew that it was the best thing that I could do for you, not because I don’t love you!”
“I couldn’t love you more if I tried, Joey Lynch,”
“I love you more than I have ever loved another person in my life, and that’s not an exaggeration. That’s the god-honest truth.”
“Exactly. I’m not replacing you, Molloy.” I couldn’t. “I’m trying to fix me.” For you.
