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No matter what, I would be right beside him, ready to pull him back to safety. Even if it meant that I lost myself in the process.
“I am his mother,” she agreed, weary. “And that’s how I know that he will break you.”
“I’ve got you, baby.”
If the hurling ever failed Joey Lynch, he would make a mighty fine porn star. The boy certainly fucked like one.
“That’s your lot, Lynch. Your first, last, and only virgin. You just signed your dick away in a blood oath, buddy.” “You’re so strange.”
He was still moving inside me, still taking what he needed from me, but he was broken. And I was terrified that I couldn’t fix him.
He declared that we could all burn to death for all he cared because he’d found himself a real woman.
Unfortunate Foreshadowing
Being in love with someone hell-bent on self-destructing was such a lonely place to exist.
“No, no, no, please, please!” she practically screamed, and then jerked away, hands moving to claw her hair. “Don’t tell!”
“They hurt her,” he slurred. “They hurt my sister.”
“Because you might not love yourself, but I do. I love you enough for the both of us,”
My own mother didn’t give a fuck about me.
Because I know that I love you, but in all honesty, if I could forget you, I would.”
“Because I feel like I’m dying when I’m with you, and I feel like I’m dead when I’m not.”
No one needed to love me if it meant that it hurt them this deeply.
“Which means that I’m going to keep on loving you, Joey Lynch. So you might want to start thinking about how to stop breaking my heart.”
I wanted to rescue him, to shield him from the horrors he had been born into. I wanted to be his armor when he couldn’t fight back. I wanted to wade into battle for him, protect his beautiful soul. But I’d been so determined to save him that I hadn’t noticed I’d lost myself in the process.
“This needs to end and you need to let me do this for you, okay?”
Instantaneously, Joey’s arms came around my body, making me feel so fucking safe it hurt.
“You were like an island. Somewhere for me to go and escape. Somewhere safe. Someone to anchor me, if that even makes sense. And I took advantage of that when I had no right to. I was selfish when I dragged you into my world. Now, I need to put you first.”
“Want to play, Joe?” No, I want to die.
Tadhg walked over to where I was standing in the doorway and wrapped his arms around my waist, hugging me tightly. “He really is the best.”
“I was willing to walk away because I knew that it was the best thing that I could do for you, not because I don’t love you!”
“I couldn’t love you more if I tried, Joey Lynch,” I cried, giving up the fight against the tears that were flowing freely down my cheeks now. “I couldn’t.”
Because Molloy didn’t know what it felt like to wake up every morning with a strong inclination to attempt suicide. She didn’t know how it felt to be a helpless child, half-starved from hunger, and even more starved for a way out of a home he wasn’t wanted in.
“I love you more than I have ever loved another person in my life, and that’s not an exaggeration. That’s the god-honest truth.”
