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“I don’t want fifty more girls,” I replied, twisting back to find her still watching me. “I just want that girl.”
“So, do you have a name, boy-who-can-think-for-himself?” “Does it matter?” I countered, needing to regain some ground I had lost to this powerhouse of a girl. “We both know that you’ll be calling me ‘baby’ by the end of the day.”
“Did you just mark me with your bag?”
“Well, are you going to walk me home or not?”
He pulled his hood up, concealing his face, and stepped into the night. “I’ll be seeing ya, Molloy.”
“But I love you.” “Oh my god.” I rolled my eyes to the heavens. “Get a handle on yourself. We’ve only been going out for a few weeks.”
“You big sap. What if I was one of those girls who actually believe the crap boys tell them?”
“That’s the thing about me, Joe,” I said matter-of-factly “I don’t like being told what to do.”
“I always win, Joe.”
“Snuggle me or I’ll scream.” “For fuck’s sake, fine,” I snapped, lifting my arm up for her to nestle into my side. “There. We’re snuggling. Are you happy now?”
“You’re my favorite friend, with my favorite legs.”
“He’s not worth it, Joe.” No, but she is. Fuck, where’d that thought come from?
“Because I have no intention of giving a boy that kind of power over me,” I replied simply. “From my viewpoint, men let you down. Even the good ones like Dad can’t be trusted. So why would I ever expose myself to that kind of pain? It would be emotional suicide.”
“Yeah,” I replied. “Because he would have proven what I’ve known all along: that no man can be trusted.”
“Woo! Would you look at the ass on number six!”
“Yeah, yeah,” he called out from under the car. “Go and buy your shoes, princess.”
“No one likes a saint, Molloy.”
“Third difference,” he whispered, leaning so close that I could feel his alcohol-scented breath on my face. “I’m not pressuring you to spread your legs for me.” Rearing back, he made a point of glancing between us. “You did that all by yourself.”
Releasing a pained breath, he leaned in close and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I could go a fair bit crazy over you, Molloy.” His lips brushed against my brow as he said, “Stay out of my head now, ya hear?”
“The pla-what-a?” I gaped at the nurse and then swung my gaze to my mother. “There’s more?” I shook my head, horrified. “How the fuck can there be more?”
Because the truth of the matter was that I felt something for him. Something I shouldn’t, and something that definitely wasn’t good for me. But I still felt it.
“I like him, okay!” I heard myself choke out. “I like him.”
“Bella Wilkinson.”
“But we will.”
“Please just stay.” He paused to release another slow breath before continuing. “This is the only time it’s ever stopped. Please don’t break it.”
“What the fuck is that?”
Because I won’t ever leave you.
“My favorite grandson,” he wheezed, and then gave me a tiny smile. “My Joseph.”
“But you were no Teddy. You were Joseph.”
“Don’t give in to them,” he rasped, holding onto my hand with strength I was surprised he was capable of. “Promise me that you’ll…never…give in to them.” “Give in to who, Granda?” Gasping and wheezing for air, he looked me right in the eyes, green eyes on green and whispered, “The demons your father put in your head.”
“Do you remember, Tony? Wasn’t it awful when he got that poor girl pregnant when we were in sixth year?”
“Make your peace with Jesus, dickbrain, because I’m about to become the only child I should have been before your shitty egg gate-crashed Mam’s womb!”
I wasn’t convinced about happy endings, but when Molloy locked her eyes on me and smiled, I could believe in the possibility of a happy day.
“But just so we’re on the same wavelength, you should know that sex isn’t just sex to me.”
With Jay-Z and Beyoncé’s “’03 Bonnie & Clyde” blasting from the car stereo, a fitting song given the circumstances, I held on for dear life to the dashboard as the wild and reckless boy in the driver’s seat blew my mind. Sitting in the passenger seat beside him, I felt like I was on a power trip. Like we could take on the whole world in this moment.
“As our song.”
“Bullshit. Comfortable isn’t as good as it gets,” Joey challenged, narrowing his eyes. “You shouldn’t settle for comfortable, Molloy. You shouldn’t settle for anything less than being in love to the point of madness. The only person that you should be settling for is the person who unsettles you the most. The person who drives you to the brink of suicide because he or she makes you feel so fucking much that you can’t catch your breath or remotely function without them. “And what’s more is you won’t want to. You won’t want to breathe, or feel, or fucking function without them. That’s how you’ll
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“I care.” Reaching out a hand, he grabbed the front of the hoodie I was wearing—his hoodie—and fisted the fabric as he pulled me back to him, our bodies flush together. “I care. I care. I care,” he repeated, eyes locked on mine as his hand moved up to cup my neck. “Too much.”
“Any more debauchery and your wings won’t take you up to heaven.” “Then I’ll just have to stay in hell with you, won’t I?”
“That’s funny, because it tells me that you’re too boring for her and I’m giving her exactly what you can’t.” “And what’s that?” he sneered. “A tramp stamp on her ass and a rap sheet the length of her arm?” “Not yet.” I smirked. “But there’s always tomorrow.”
The rain was pouring down on both of us, but I wasn’t walking away. Not now that I knew. Not ever again.
I lost my head right there in the middle of his street, threw caution to the wind, and slammed my lips to his.
Her scent, so fresh and addictive, invaded my lungs, taking me down harder than a punch from my old man ever could.
Excitement and fear thrummed through my body as I allowed myself to feel something other than hopelessness. I enjoyed the sensation of being inside of my own body, my own head, for once without needing to self-medicate first.
“Oh, I’ve been sold on you for a long time now, Joey Lynch.”
Tread carefully, the beating muscle in my chest commanded, because if you let her in, if you let yourself fall for this girl, you’ll never recover. Forget that shit, she’s already in. Keep her.
“How about I teach you a lesson?” Tadhg said, taking aim at Billy this time. “On how to fight fair.” With that, the little guy rammed the handle of the floor brush into Billy’s face. “And how to not be your brother’s little bitch boy.”
“He’ll have you on your back with his dick inside you before the week’s out,”
“Because once Joey Lynch is done ruining you, not even the nuns will have you.”
No one had ever touched me with this level of affection before.
