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I never knew devastation until he walked into my world and gave me a glimpse into his. I never knew demons until I stood beside him and watched him battle monsters more frightening than my imagination could ever concoct. I never knew heartbreak until he decimated my heart by decimating his body. I never knew hurt until he walked away from me.
“She’s cute, but don’t throw your hat in the ring just yet. I promise there will be fifty more girls in your year that look just as lovely.” Doubtful. “I don’t want fifty more girls,” I replied, twisting back to find her still watching me. “I just want that girl.”
“So, do you have a name, boy-who-can-think-for-himself?” “Does it matter?” I countered, needing to regain some ground I had lost to this powerhouse of a girl. “We both know that you’ll be calling me ‘baby’ by the end of the day.” She licked her lips to bury her smile. “Is that so?” I stepped closer. “You tell me, blondie.”
“So, should I spend more time with the male form in general?” she said, and somehow our fingers were entwined now. “Or with you? Because it’s safe to say that I’m impressed with the male form standing in front of me.” “Is that your way of telling me that you don’t have a boyfriend?” “No, it’s my way of telling you that I will have a boyfriend once you ask me.”
My brows rose up. “Did you just mark me with your bag?” “I sure did,” she replied, smiling sweetly up at me before turning on her heel and sauntering off in the direction of the school. “Now, let’s go, baby.” I laughed, because in all honesty what else could I do? I had a distinct feeling that I would be doing a lot of following after this girl.
“You know what? I think you do care,” she called after me. “In fact, I think you do like me. You like me and that’s why you act how you do. That’s why you riled my father up about Paul tonight. I’m right, aren’t I? You like me.” Of course I fucking liked her. She was the first thing my eyes had landed on when I walked through the entrance of Ballylaggin Community School last September, and the only face I consistently sought out since.
“I’ll be seeing ya, Molloy.” “Yeah, Joey Lynch.” I blew out a shaky breath. “You will.”
“Just look at him, Katie.” Sighing heavily, I threw a hand up and gestured toward him. “Take a good look.” “Yeah,” she agreed quietly. “He’s sort of beautiful.” “More than sort of,” I corrected with a shiver. “But it’s more than that.”
I was staring into the face of danger. This boy possessed all of the terrible traits that mothers warned their daughters about. Every bad, wrong, and dirty teenage-boy characteristic wrapped up in a perfect, fucked-up package. Physically, he trumped me in every way. Taller. Stronger. Darker. Meaner… Still, I wanted him to come closer.
Persuasion was certainly a skill that Aoife Molloy had honed to perfection.
“But I’m your favorite, right?” With a teasing lilt to her voice, she said, “Your favorite friend?” “Yes, fine! Whatever. Christ,” I grumbled, rolling my eyes. “You’re my favorite friend, with my favorite legs.”
“And just so you know, Joe…” She leaned in close and pressed a kiss to my cheek. “You’re my favorite friend, with my favorite everything.”
“I’m not afraid of loving a boy,” I told her honestly. “I’m afraid of losing myself in one.”
“Stay out of trouble out there, okay?” I nodded slowly. “I’ll try my best.” “Make sure you do.” She laughed. “Because I’ve put an awful lot of effort into saving you, six.”
“I’m not your boyfriend, Molloy. I’m not supposed to care about you, remember?” “No, you’re not supposed to,” I agreed with a shiver as he pinned me to the bonnet of the car. Excitement thrummed to life inside of me. “But you still do.”
“Third difference,” he whispered, leaning so close that I could feel his alcohol-scented breath on my face. “I’m not pressuring you to spread your legs for me.” Rearing back, he made a point of glancing between us. “You did that all by yourself.” My gaze followed his, and my breath hitched in my throat when I saw that he had deftly stepped between my legs. Not only that, but my legs had wrapped themselves around his hips of their own damn accord. “Well, shit,” I whispered, breathing hard and fast as I watched him watch me. “I have no idea how they got there.”
“If it was anyone else, Molloy. If it was anyone else.” “But it’s me.” “It’s you,” he confirmed. “Pain in my hole.”
“Nice moves.” He stared at my hand for a long beat before slowly placing his hand on top of mine. “Nice everything.”
“You shouldn’t settle for comfortable, Molloy. You shouldn’t settle for anything less than being in love to the point of madness. The only person that you should be settling for is the person who unsettles you the most. The person who drives you to the brink of suicide because he or she makes you feel so fucking much that you can’t catch your breath or remotely function without them. “And what’s more is you won’t want to. You won’t want to breathe, or feel, or fucking function without them. That’s how you’ll know that it’s a real relationship, Molloy. Only when you’re feeling the most
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“I care.” Reaching out a hand, he grabbed the front of the hoodie I was wearing—his hoodie—and fisted the fabric as he pulled me back to him, our bodies flush together. “I care. I care. I care,” he repeated, eyes locked on mine as his hand moved up to cup my neck. “Too much.”
Drowning in both my senses and the rain hammering down on us, I allowed myself to be completely swept up in the moment, in him. Nothing else mattered to me. All I could see, feel, taste, touch was him. He was everywhere. Consuming me entirely.
Aoife Molloy consumed me to the point that I didn’t feel like everything was completely fucked in the world anymore.
“Yeah, I was definitely talking about those abs.” “Like what you see?” “What?” She grinned shamelessly. “I always check the product before I make any purchases.” “And?” She blew out a shaky breath and nodded. “Oh, I’ve been sold on you for a long time now, Joey Lynch.”
“You need to run.” She shook her head. “I don’t run.” “Run,” I desperately urged. “Run, Molloy.” “I’m staying right here,” she whispered. “With you.”
“The quintessential lost boy.” Her lips grazed mine as she spoke. “Don’t worry, Peter Pan, I’ll be your Wendy.”
I was the very worst person a girl like her could get tangled up with, and still she clung to me like I hung the goddamn moon.
“But don’t ever think that I don’t have feelings,” he said, and then pressed a kiss to my mouth. “Because the only time that I allow myself to feel anything is when I’m with you.”
“I took a chance on that boy, and I’m glad that I did because the man that small boy turned into is a man who I am damn proud of.”
“You’re all I have to wake up for in the morning.” That small slip of the tongue had cut me to the bone. And as I lay on my side, running my hand through his hair and watching him sleep, I made a mental vow that I wouldn’t allow him to lose himself to the world he teetered on the edge of. No matter what, I would be right beside him, ready to pull him back to safety. Even if it meant that I lost myself in the process.
Aoife Molloy had a heart of gold and was hell-bent on handing it over to a piece of shit like me. She was my momentary escape from all of the fucking dark. She was the only bit of brightness I had in my life, and it scared me to think of how little else I had going for me. Without her, I had nothing. Without her, I was nothing.
“I’ve stopped trying, Molloy. I can’t try anymore. Why aren’t you kicking me out?” “Because you might not love yourself, but I do. I love you enough for the both of us,”
“You’re not good for me,” she whispered brokenly, clinging to the hand I had wrapped around her. “I get that now.” Her fingers dug into my forearm. “But it doesn’t stop my heart from loving you, or my head from wanting you.”
“I want you to know that you’ve been the best part of my day every day since I was twelve years old.”
“I’m in love with you.” I didn’t care how weak or pathetic that I sounded in that moment as I continued to let my truth spill from my lips, as I bled open in front of him. “And I’m afraid for you, and I’m completely fucked up in the head because of you.” My throat hitched, and I exhaled a broken sob before forcing out, “And I have felt all of these things for you since I was twelve years old.”
