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I threw my head back and laughed. “I always win, Joe.”
“Next time you see me, you won’t have a roomful of people to protect you.” “I’m shaking.” “No need to shake, asshole. Just make your peace with God because I’m going to bury you.”
The hell was she doing with a fella like Paul Rice? He was too boring for her and had a shit right hook.
“I’m not afraid of loving a boy,” I told her honestly. “I’m afraid of losing myself in one.”
“Make sure you do.” She laughed. “Because I’ve put an awful lot of effort into saving you, six.”
I’m trapped, I thought, feeling despair seep back into my veins at a rapid pace. I’m all alone. I felt snared, fucking cornered.
“My Joseph. My brave, brave boy. Terrible burdens. A cursed cross to carry. But always rising from the ashes. Always getting back up. Always the…protector.”
She could piss me off more than most, and she drove me demented at times, but there was no one else I would prefer to break the law with.
“because if I have any chance of getting over you, I need to be with a boy who’s the complete opposite”
“Bullshit. Comfortable isn’t as good as it gets,” Joey challenged, narrowing his eyes. “You shouldn’t settle for comfortable, Molloy. You shouldn’t settle for anything less than being in love to the point of madness. The only person that you should be settling for is the person who unsettles you the most. The person who drives you to the brink of suicide because he or she makes you feel so fucking much that you can’t catch your breath or remotely function without them. “And what’s more is you won’t want to. You won’t want to breathe, or feel, or fucking function without them. That’s how you’ll
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It must be nice to be able to sleep at night without the fear of being dragged out from under the covers and beaten to within an inch of your life. Must be nice to not be distracted by the screams of your half-starved siblings or the low wails of your battered and bruised—not to mention brutally assaulted—mother on the daily.
“I’m irreplaceable.” That she was.
“If I had a packet of Rolos right now, I’d give you my last one.” “Yeah?” I smiled, indulging her. “Well, if I had a packet of Rolos right now, Molloy, I’d give them all to you.”
I was far too familiar with the shitty side of life. I’d learned that lesson a long time ago, but Christ, nobody wore heartbreak quite like my sister.
She blew out a shaky breath and nodded. “Oh, I’ve been sold on you for a long time now, Joey Lynch.”
“The quintessential lost boy.” Her lips grazed mine as she spoke. “Don’t worry, Peter Pan, I’ll be your Wendy.”
“But I’m not going to force you into doing something that you have the honesty to admit you’re not ready for.” He blew out a breath and shrugged. “I’d rather you tell me now than regret me after.”
“Because the only time that I allow myself to feel anything is when I’m with you.”
“You do that,” I replied. “Bye.” “Love you.” “See you at five.” “Say it.” “Jesus Christ, just go the fuck back to work.” “Say it and I will.”
“I remember looking at this small scrap of a lad standing in the garage, down on his luck and with the weight of the world on his shoulders. That small boy asked me for a chance that day,” he added, voice thick with emotion. “I took a chance on that boy, and I’m glad that I did because the man that small boy turned into is a man who I am damn proud of.”
And as I lay on my side, running my hand through his hair and watching him sleep, I made a mental vow that I wouldn’t allow him to lose himself to the world he teetered on the edge of. No matter what, I would be right beside him, ready to pull him back to safety. Even if it meant that I lost myself in the process.
“And I always won’t.”
she could've said "and i never will (love you)"
“The first day of first year,” he explained quietly. “The first time I laid eyes on you, and the first time I understood what it meant to have my heart beating for someone outside of my family.”
“I just don’t know how to not do it.” “Not do what, Joe?” “Reject human affection.”
Sometimes, I liked the fact that she seemed just as broken as I was. It made me feel a little less fucked up.
Aoife Molloy had a heart of gold and was hell-bent on handing it over to a piece of shit like me. She was my momentary escape from all of the fucking dark. She was the only bit of brightness I had in my life, and it scared me to think of how little else I had going for me.
And instead of doing the right thing for me, I did the safe thing for him. I took him into my bed and into my body. Because I loved him. Because I couldn’t stop fighting for the boy that I knew was still inside him.
“Because I feel like I’m dying when I’m with you, and I feel like I’m dead when I’m not.”
