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“Can I just stop you right there,” I interjected, holding a hand up. “Yeah,” she said, turning to me with an expectant look. “Why?” “No reason,” I replied. “I just wanted you to stop talking.”
“Your father wanted to name you Theodor after him,” he replied. “He said you were going to be just like him…” He paused to cough wheezily. “But you were no Teddy. You were Joseph.” He coughed again. “So I bribed him with a tenner for the pub and called you what I wanted you to be called.” He smiled up at me. “My Joseph. My brave, brave boy. Terrible burdens. A cursed cross to carry. But always rising from the ashes. Always getting back up. Always the…protector.”
“Don’t give in to them,” he rasped, holding onto my hand with strength I was surprised he was capable of. “Promise me that you’ll…never…give in to them.” “Give in to who, Granda?” Gasping and wheezing for air, he looked me right in the eyes, green eyes on green and whispered, “The demons your father put in your head.”
The only person that you should be settling for is the person who unsettles you the most. The person who drives you to the brink of suicide because he or she makes you feel so fucking much that you can’t catch your breath or remotely function without them. “And what’s more is you won’t want to. You won’t want to breathe, or feel, or fucking function without them. That’s how you’ll know that it’s a real relationship, Molloy. Only when you’re feeling the most discomfort you’ve ever felt in your entire life should you even consider settling. Because that’s when you’ll know you’re in love, which
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“When a girl says it’s nothing, it’s never nothing.”
“You’re all I have to wake up for in the morning.”
I made a mental vow that I wouldn’t allow him to lose himself to the world he teetered on the edge of. No matter what, I would be right beside him, ready to pull him back to safety. Even if it meant that I lost myself in the process.
“The first time I laid eyes on you, and the first time I understood what it meant to have my heart beating for someone outside of my family.”
“Because I want to look that bastard in the eyes and show him that you have someone ready and willing to go to war both with you and for you.”
“I want you to have me,” I told him, heart hammering with nervous anticipation as I lay naked on his bed. “All of me.” “No.” He quickly shook his head, refusing my offer. “You don’t want this. Trust me—and especially not here.” “Yes, Joey, I do,” I urged. “And it has to be here.” He looked so lost when he choked out the word “Why?” “Because I want to put one good memory of this house in your head.” “Molloy.” Raw emotion flashed in his eyes. “You don’t have to do that.”
“It’s like you know you’re about to get your ass handed to you by exposing yourself to this person, and you know that you’re fucking around on the edge of something that could potentially break and ruin you, but it’s just so damn thrilling, so consumingly addicting that you’re willing to take the risk and do just about anything to be with that person.”
“You were like an island. Somewhere for me to go and escape. Somewhere safe. Someone to anchor me, if that even makes sense. And I took advantage of that when I had no right to. I was selfish when I dragged you into my world. Now, I need to put you first.”
“Don’t eat it like that, you weirdo!” Gaping in horror at the way my sister brutally savaged a KitKat bar, I grabbed the cushion behind my back and tossed it at her. “The fuck kind of serial killer are you?”
