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I was overwhelmed, so I couldn’t imagine what it must be like for Johnny. He was only seventeen.
his blue eyes. They were too sharp. Too all-seeing. Too much.
It wasn’t anything new to me. I was used to being laughed at. I was used to being the punching bag.
Relieved, I moved closer, too close for strangers to sit, but I didn’t care. He was big and strong and I got the distinct feeling that he was telling me the truth. I believed him when he told me I was safe with him.
“I promise.” That word. God. That one word broke me.
And in the middle of it all, I could only see him. This boy.
“Now,” I sneered, glaring down at their faces. “Who wants to call my girlfriend a whore to my face?”
when you fuck with her, you fuck with me.”
He held my hand. Johnny Kavanagh actually put my hand in his.
Shannon Lynch utterly disarmed me.
I needed tea. Lots of tea.
little Shannon?”
Devotion had to feel better than being used did.
This girl is different, my stupid fucking brain chanted. This one is for keeps.
I just wanted her. You could love this girl your whole life, the crazy thought persisted inside my brain over and over, if you just let yourself.
My heart leaped in my chest. “Shannon?”
Johnny’s penis has touched these things. And now your vagina has. You’re practically having sex with him!
She was like a tornado I never saw coming. The one problem I didn’t foresee when making my plans. The one person who could fracture all my hard work.
Most importantly, she didn’t look at me like I was a meal ticket. She looked right through all the bullshit. Seeing me. Seeing only me.
“Operation Binding Thirteen, anyone?”
“Binding Thirteen,”
It was hard, though, when I spent most of my waking hours in a constant state of paranoia and anxiety.
She was fucking perfect.
“I see the way you look at Shannon and the way she looks at you.” “We are just friends,” I bit out. “You’re in love.”
Not only did I flash Johnny Kavanagh, but I went one further and kissed him. My first kiss. The first time I ever put my lips on a boy. And he didn’t reciprocate.
Shannon kissed me and I froze.
I didn’t expect it. I didn’t expect her.
I stood up before I did something stupid, like kiss him. Oh wait, I already did that. Ugh…
Because of her. Because when she jumped, I flew clean off the ledge after her.
She giggled and, Christ, it was a lovely sound. Shannon didn’t do enough laughing.
“But just so you know?” he added. “She’s always been your Shannon.”
“Binding thirteen,” Gibsie snickered as he tore off way too fucking fast for comfort. “Little Shannon blew that shit clean out of the water.”
‘Operation Binding Thirteen’
“A Maroon 5 song.” “Oh?” I looked up at him. “Which one?” He shifted in discomfort. “‘She Will Be Loved.’”
She was worth it all.
“Hold and defend—that’s my job as thirteen,”
I love you, I almost blurted out, holding the three terrifying words back just in time. Oh my god! Where did that come from?
“I don’t understand what’s happening between us.”
“Lizzie Young,”
“How bad did it get?” To the point that I wanted to die.
“Well, thanks for caring,” I breathed. “Thanks for being worth it,” Johnny replied, hand still on my cheek.
Songs for Shannon.
I was so lost in this boy I could hardly breathe.
If feelings were objects, then I was teetering on the edge of a great precipice, and if girls were weapons, then Shannon Lynch was the greatest weapon of mass destruction my heart had ever been exposed to.
I just wanted her. For keeps.
Fuck.
Johnny was still on the ground. Facedown. Unmoving.
“I don’t want to know if he can play rugby or not,” I squeezed out as a wave of guilt swallowed me up. “I want to know if he is okay! Him. Johnny! The person. Not the fucking rugby player!” Gibsie tilted his head to one side, studying me with a curious look. “Well, aren’t you a keeper?” he finally mused, tone low.
And then he kissed me.
Oh God. Oh, sweet baby Jesus. I was kissing Johnny Kavanagh.
