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“Actually, I think you ruined all of me.” Thank fuck for that, because you’re ruining all of me right now, I thought to myself.
My body was still in excruciating pain and I was still sporting a solid three-quarters.
I was self-conscious. It was yet another new and unwelcome feeling.
“Like a burning-hot poker being rammed in your cooch,”
He was an intelligent player with a keen eye for intercepting play and
self-discipline that seemed to rival a saint.
Especially when the person ignoring me was the very same one who was tormenting my every waking thought—my dreams, too.
I hated her. Sometimes more than I hated him.
I just knew deep down in my heart and soul that danger was coming. I didn’t know where, or when, or how it might unfold.
“Your neck is bruised.”
But you can’t destroy what’s already broken…
Johnny’s penis has touched these things. And now your vagina has. You’re practically having sex with him!
God, he even had muscles on his ass. How was that even possible?
“I like your music,”
“You have good taste.”
“Find something you like.”
“I love them all,” as she began to flick through track after track. “You have amazing taste.”
“Me too,” she agreed. “And your music is epic.”
“I am losing my bleeding mind, Gibs.” “Nah, your mind’s still there,” Gibsie chuckled, patting my shoulder. “It’s your heart you’re losing, lad.”
“Because I was lazy and you were as easy as they come.” I lost my temper and hissed, “You were a phone call away, Bella—one quick text to wet my dick. That’s all you ever were to me.”
“I didn’t mean that,” I bit out. “That was a shitty thing to say.”
“It’ll taste better if it’s warm.” “Nah, I’m used to it,” he replied and then shoveled a forkful into his mouth. “Besides, I’m eating for fuel, not taste.”
I love you, I almost blurted out, holding the three terrifying words back just in time.
Stop lying to yourself, my brain hissed. You love him with every piece of your fractured heart…
He hurt me. He dismissed me. And then he jumped right in and defended my honor.
“We’re on a level playing field now. I know your secrets and now you know mine, so you can rest assured that I won’t be announcing your injury to the whole world,”
“Well, thanks for caring,” I breathed. “Thanks for being worth it,” Johnny replied, hand still on my cheek.
That’s how consumed I was in this girl. That’s how much I loved her. Fuck.
feeling tears filling my eyes.
Unable to breathe through the absolute devastation ripping through me.
“Right now is when it matters,” I strangled out. “Right now is all that matters.”
“No, lad,” he corrected. “Getting you healthy is all that matters.” “What am I going to do, Gibs?” I choked out, keeping my hand over my face. “It’s my whole life.”
“I don’t want to go out there.” I shook my head. “I don’t want them to see.”
“Don’t tell,” I begged. “Please…I can’t—”
“I don’t want to know if he can play rugby or not,” I squeezed out as a wave of guilt swallowed me up. “I want to know if he is okay! Him. Johnny! The person. Not the fucking rugby player!”
He was hurting. And he was scared.
“I’m in pain, Shannon,” he confessed, dropping his head. “I’m so fucking scared.”
“I really like my dick, Da. I’ll cry if it’s gone.”
“You lie and it hurts my heart,”
Joey roared back at her. “You are the most pathetic excuse for a mother that ever walked the earth.”
I didn’t care what I looked like anymore. It didn’t matter. Because my mother had just ended my world. She went to him. He beat us. Terrorized us. Tortured us. And she went to him. She chose him. Our own mother.
“Make a choice, Mam,” Joey snarled as he glared down at our mother. “Him or us?”
