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Shannon Lynch utterly disarmed me.
Without meaning to or even trying, Shannon soaked up every sliver of my attention. It wasn’t a healthy feeling, but it was an addictive one.
“Me too,” I heard myself say, and oddly enough, it was the truth. “We should do it again sometime.” Fuck. My. Life. “I mean…” “It’s okay,” Shannon was quick to say, tone soothing, as she unfastened her seat belt and reached for the door. “I understand what you meant.”
If I couldn’t get my shit together, nobody would want me. Not with a broken body.
“No, in all honestly, I probably don’t get it,” Gibsie replied. “I’ve never been invested in anything like you are with rugby, but I see what you’re doing to yourself. I see that, Johnny.”
“You must be fucking amazing in bed,” Gibsie mused. “If she’s hunting you down like this.”
“You like the girl,” he continued to taunt. “Maybe you even loooooooovv—”
But I did. I felt incredibly guilty. There was something about me that caused all this pain. If I wasn’t in this house, I was fairly sure my family wouldn’t have half the problems they did.
I loved Aoife Molloy. I truly loved the girl as a sister. But I also resented her. Because I knew exactly how appealing unconditional love, affection, and security was to someone like Joey. It was the same for me.
From her, Joey was receiving a form of love he’d been denied his whole life. And if that girl jumped, he would jump right along with her.
knowing that with my parents gone, I would sleep better tonight than I had in months. That’s how messed up my life was.
“I’m prettier to look at,” he announced with a wink and then proceeded to toss back shots like it was going out of fashion. I could always depend on this fucker. Hail, rain, or snow, Gibsie had my back.
Fuck, I wanted to hear her voice on the other side of that line. This girl is different, my stupid fucking brain chanted. This one is for keeps.
You could love this girl your whole life, the crazy thought persisted inside my brain over and over, if you just let yourself.
“I have no fucking problem stepping in on Kav’s behalf and kicking the ever-loving shit out of your turncoat ass.”
Shannon—absolutely, but Bella? Not a chance.
I justified my reasons with the knowledge that Shannon was worth it. Bella was not.
“And Bella?” Cormac asked after a long pause. “Are you going to cause problems with her?” “Because you’re with her? No,” I told him. “If she fucks with Shannon? Absolutely.”
“So, bear in mind that every single time your Bella decides to make a threat, spread a nasty rumor, or fuck with my Shannon, I’ll return the favor on your face. Every single goddamn time.”
“Get that fucking thing away from me.” I scowled at his hand as I put my phone to my ear. “I know where it’s been.”
Straight to your house because I wanna fuck your sister, I thought to myself. I smirked at the fabulous notion, and then hunted the crazy thought away with a shake of my head. Probably love her, too, I mused to myself, a fucking lot, before pushing that madness out as well. Cop yourself on, asshole!
“You traitor!” he choked out, looking comically horrified. “You went to the chipper!” “Yeah, I did,” I replied, shoving away from him. “And it was fucking delicious, and I have no regrets.” “What did you have?” “A few cheeseburgers and a curry chips.” “How did it taste?” “Better than sex.”
“Over!” I hurried to explain, dragging myself back onto the seat. “I fucked her over on her first day. Embarrassed her on the pitch when I knocked her out.” But I want to fuck her… I want in your sister so bad you wouldn’t believe it… The things I imagine doing to her would shock you… I waited for the homicidal look in his eyes to fade before continuing.
The second: fantasizing about all the terribly inappropriate things I longed to do with his sister.
And do you know what he did to her? He purred. He was in his bloody element, lad. Delighted with life being curled up to her.” Lucky Brian.
I wasn’t sure I could handle my feelings for him.
I felt terrible for lying to him especially, but I couldn’t exactly turn around and say, Oh yeah, when my dad’s full of drink, he likes to beat the shit out of me and throw me around like a rag doll.
“Huh,” my brother bit out. “Funny how my sister always seems to get mauled and knocked around when you’re near her, Kavanagh.”
“Now,” I said when we were alone, eyes locked on Joey. “Who the fuck is putting their hands on your sister?”
“Because no one should be putting their goddamn anything on her,” I barked.
“You like her.” He arched another brow at me and tilted his head to one side. “Maybe even more than like her.”
“Good,” he snapped. “I’ll call when I can to sort out picking her up. Just keep her until I call you, okay?” Sort out picking her up? The fuck did he think his sister was? A bleeding package?
“What do you want me to do, Shannon?” Johnny strangled out. “Tell me what to do here.” “Hold me,” I sobbed, burying my face in his neck. “Don’t let go.” “Okay.” One of his large hands cupped the back of my head and the other moved to my back as he held me to his chest, slowly rocking me on his lap. “I won’t,” he whispered, folding me up in his arms.
“Will your parents mind?” I tucked my hair behind my ear nervously. “I mean, they won’t think…” “No,” Johnny replied but he sounded distracted. “Are you sure?” His gaze roamed over me, making my skin flood with heat. “No, it’s, uh, good.” My brows shot up. “Good?” He blushed, causing me to blush a much deeper shade of red. Oh god…
Everything inside of me was shifting, honing in on this tiny girl.
I was thoroughly addicted to every single thing about the girl and it had nothing to do with the physical—and the physical was pretty fucking perfect.
“It’s her, man. You were right. I am completely fucked in the head, and I need you to stop me from doing something stupid with that girl.”
“Jesus, I want her so fucking bad I can’t think straight, Gibs.”
“Whoa,” Gibsie breathed. “You’ve thought about this a lot, haven’t you?” Every minute of the day since I first laid eyes on her.
“Operation Binding Thirteen, anyone?”
“But you won’t have a jacket,” I blurted out. “But you will,” he shot back. “Now, are you going to put your arms in the sleeves, or am I going to have to do it for you?”
“You think I’d let anyone hurt you?” Johnny finally asked, his eyes dark and intense and focused solely on my face. “You think I’d let anything bad happen to you, Shannon like the river?”
There was something very wrong with me. Running around for twenty minutes in the pouring rain for a shoe was a good indication that this girl was making me lose my mind.
The worst part was knowing that if my mother hadn’t shown up when she had, there was a very big chance I would’ve kissed her. I wanted to. Badly. And that was beyond terrifying.
She had her arms wrapped protectively around herself, with her long brown hair drenched from the rain and sticking in wet clumps to her face, and in my whole life, I’d never seen anything so beautiful. Jesus. How was I supposed to handle this? How was I supposed to handle her?
I was so completely fucked.
“I don’t mind,” I replied. “I’ll do whatever you want to do.” “Fuck.” Johnny clenched his eyes shut and groaned. “Oh god, are you okay?” I hurried to ask, well aware he was in pain.
Johnny didn’t realize it, but in the space of an hour or two, his mother had taken more of an interest in me than my own mother had in months. Maybe even years.
