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“And then I did it again on Friday.” “Did what?” “Put her in my car,” I admitted. “Well, shit.” “And then I went one further.” “How?” Gibsie eyed me warily. “What did you do, Johnny?” “I dropped her home.” Expelling another frustrated breath, I sagged back in my seat and groaned. “But then I snatched her back.” “What the fuck?” “I know,” I barked. “I know.” “How do you snatch a girl, Johnny?” I shrugged helplessly. “Fuck knows, but I did it.”
“Whoa,” Gibsie breathed. “You’ve thought about this a lot, haven’t you?” Every minute of the day since I first laid eyes on her.
“I’m okay,” I croaked out, feeling incredibly nervous to be so close to him again. “You know,” he mused. “I’m starting to really dislike that word.”
Who was I kidding; he had a gorgeous everything.
“You think I’d let anyone hurt you?” Johnny finally asked, his eyes dark and intense and focused solely on my face. “You think I’d let anything bad happen to you, Shannon like the river?”
“Ma, this is my, ah… This is Shannon,” he acknowledged, looking clearly uncomfortable. He cast a nervous glance at me and then turned back to his mother, clearing his throat twice before adding, “She’s my, uh… She’s new.” He shoved me further into the back seat of his mother’s SUV and then tossed both bags in alongside me. “I told her we’d drop her home.”
“For a moment there, I thought you had managed to do the impossible.” “The impossible?” “Distract him from rugby.”
“Honestly, Johnny offering to drop me home is probably just another one of his ways of trying to make up for knocking me up on the pitch.” “Excuse me?” Mrs. Kavanagh spluttered, eyes bulging. “It was an accident,” I quickly interjected. “He didn’t mean for it to happen. If anyone’s at fault, then I am. I shouldn’t have gone there. I distracted him. But he took good care of me afterward.” I blew out a breath before adding, “He was very kind.” “And when did this accident happen?” “Back in January,” I explained, my hand automatically moving to cup the back of my head. “The doctors at the hospital
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The minute I saw Shannon darting around the P.E. hall, a monstrous swell of protectiveness surged up inside of my body at the sight of her trying to protect herself from being trampled on, and I knew that my problem was bigger than I had realized. I’d had the craziest urge to stalk onto the court and tell her classmates to back the fuck off from her. All last week, I had been behaving like deranged stalker, watching out for her in the halls, and growing increasingly agitated when she didn’t show. I put out feelers in the hopes of squashing any shite that might be going down without my
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“Johnny!” I heard Mam call from down the hall. “Did you get Shannon something to change into? The poor girl’s like a drowned rat from the rain.”
“Come on, it’s okay,” I coaxed, retracing my steps. “I’ll look after you.” And then I took her hand in mine and led her up the staircase, knowing this was a terrible fucking idea, but resigned to doing it anyway. I was so completely fucked.
“No copy of Chicken Licken?” Johnny laughed loudly. “No.” Coming to stand behind me, he chuckled, “Definitely no Chicken Licken.”
“Well, little girl, you better put your money where your mouth is,” Johnny shot back with a smirk. “Because I’m the best.” I snorted. “It’s on, little boy.”
“I beat him at PlayStation.” “No,” Johnny corrected. “She didn’t beat me at anything…” He paused to glare at me. “You haven’t won yet.” And then he turned back to his mother and added, “She just pushed the bar out.” “To space,” I mumbled under my breath. “I heard that,” he shot back, smirking. Mrs. Kavanagh looked between us and then beamed. “He’s a terrible loser, isn’t he?” “I am fucking not!” “I know.” I giggled.
“That girl is fragile, Johnny.” Mam nibbled on her lip, brows furrowed in concern. “There is something about her that makes me want to wrap my arms around her and cuddle the sadness out of her eyes.” Yeah, I knew the feeling. I knew that feeling very fucking well.
“She’s a lovely girl, Johnny,” Mam offered. “Seems very fond of you.” She turned to look at me when she said, “You could do a lot worse than a nice girl like her.” “Yeah, well, I don’t see her like that.” Lie. Lie. Barefaced lie. “She’s just a friend.” More lies. “That’s it, Ma.” “Do you honestly think you can sell me that shite, Johnny Kavanagh?” Mam shot back, lips twitching. “I’m your mother. I brought you into this world, and I know every single time you tell me a lie.” “I am not lying,” I lied. “You’re lying to me right now.”
“But you like her?” Mam asked after a long pause of silence. I turned to look at her. “What?” “Shannon,” Mam filled in, tone gentle and coaxing. “You like her.”
The movement caused his huge biceps to bulge. He was seriously huge.
“Jesus Christ,” Johnny groaned, dropping his head in his hands. “Of course, I like you.” He tugged on his hair and sighed. “I think it’s pretty fucking clear that I’m mad about you.” Exhaling a pained groan, he added, “But I’ll be eighteen in May, Shannon.” “I’m sixteen,” I whispered. “I know, Shannon, fuck I know,” he groaned, voice torn. “But I’m trying to do the right thing here.”
“You don’t want me. I heard you. I got the message.” “You clearly didn’t if that’s what you took from it,” he shot back, looking furious. When I didn’t respond, Johnny literally growled. “Fine, if you don’t want to hash this out, then I won’t say another word,” he announced, throwing his hands up in the air. “Is that what you want, Shannon?” “That’s what I want, Johnny,” I whispered. “Suit yourself,” he bit out, starting the engine again. “I give up.”
“Stop. I can’t. This is too priceless.” He threw his head back and howled laughing. “Mammy Kavanagh’s a better wingman than I am!”
“She kissed me.” Gibsie eyes lit up. “Yeah?”
“What did you do?” “Froze,” I admitted with a pained exhale. “I completely fucking froze up, lad. And then she panicked and locked herself in the bathroom. It was a bleeding disaster. Took me ages to coax her out, and even then, she wouldn’t speak more than three words to me on the drive back to her place.” “That”—Gibsie shook his head—“is a disaster.”
“Do you know that she’s insanely good at PlayStation? Like fucking gamer good?” Gibsie looked at me with surprise. “No shit?” I nodded. “She kicked my ass, lad. I’ve never seen anyone clear missions as fast as she did.” He exhaled another cloud of smoke and tossed his cigarette out the window. “Did she have a cheat sheet with her?” “She didn’t need one,” I muttered as I pressed a button and rolled up the windows. “She had every bleeding code memorized.” “Oh god,” Gibsie groaned. “That is so fucking sexy.”
“I’m doing the math here, Shannon, and two plus two equals a bad bitch.”
“Slut!” Bella called out, loudly enough to garner everyone’s attention. I groaned internally. “That’s right,” she hissed when my step faltered. “I’m talking about you, slut!” “Don’t,” I begged when I felt him stiffen beside me. “Johnny, please don’t do anythi—” Johnny didn’t give me a chance to finish before he swung around and stormed over to where Bella was standing. “You’re one to fucking talk!”
“Leave her the fuck alone,” he was barking. “She’s not your business.” “You’re my business,” Bella screamed back at him. Johnny threw his hands in the air. “You’re delusional.”
“How’s it now?” “Not as bad,” I whispered, relieved with the speed with which the medication was working. “I don’t feel like I’m being stabbed by a thousand blunt knives anymore.”
“I’m a prize to her. A shiny trophy,” he muttered under his breath. “That’s all I am to most people.” “Not to me,” I told him. Johnny looked at me. I forced myself not to turn away. “No?” I could see frustration and hope flashing around in his blue eyes. “No,” I confirmed quietly.
“Keep it.” “Sorry?” “The hoodie.” Clearing my throat, I tightened my hand on the wheel to keep myself from doing something reckless. “Hang on to it.” “Why?” I could feel her blue eyes on me—I knew that sounded thick, but I could—and the sensation caused my arms to break out in goose bumps. I shrugged. “Because it looks good on you.”
“You would do that for me?” she asked, voice soft. I would do pretty much anything for you.
Masochistic or not, if I turned back and looked at those midnight blue eyes again, I was going to drown in them.
“But just so you know?” he added. “She’s always been your Shannon.”
“Binding thirteen,” Gibsie snickered as he tore off way too fucking fast for comfort. “Little Shannon blew that shit clean out of the water.”
“I will ruin you,” I repeated, voice deathly cold. “Your reputation. Your status. Your friends. Your future relationships. Everything. If you fuck with Shannon Lynch again, I will take everything from you.”
“You’re on my side,” I whispered, nudging his thigh with my knee, praying for a reprieve. It didn’t come. He didn’t move his leg. Instead, he cocked a brow and tossed back, “You’re on my bus.”
“Rugby,” I explained. “Why do you do it?” “I love it,” he replied simply. “Everything about it. The shape of the ball. The physicality of the game. The adrenaline rush. The pressure. The rewards. Pushing myself. I fucking love the game.” I love you, I almost blurted out, holding the three terrifying words back just in time. Oh my god! Where did that come
And sure, the parts I knew about him were good parts, decent parts, beautiful parts, but that in no way meant I felt anything deeper for Johnny than obvious physical attraction and a teenage crush. It was ridiculous. I was ridiculous. Stop lying to yourself, my brain hissed. You love him with every piece of your fractured heart…
“I’d sit with you, though.” My heart leaped in my chest. “You would?” He grinned. “You’re so tiny you don’t count.”
“What do you say?” he asked with a smirk. I glanced down at the page and choked out a laugh. In neat capital letters were the words: SHANNON LIKE THE RIVER. WILL YOU PLEASE BE MY FRIEND? Two hand-drawn boxes were sketched below the writing. One box had a yes over it, and the other had a no. The yes box had a smiley face. The no box had a sad face. At the bottom of the page were the words: SIGNED BY alongside a slightly crooked line with his signature scrawled across it. Beneath the line with Johnny’s name was an empty line for my name and he had dated the note January 10, 2005, my first day at
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He was simply beautiful, and I almost told him just that.
“You look brilliant,” instead. Johnny’s brows shot up, expression quizzical, while I sank further into my seat. “I look brilliant?” he asked as he watched me with interest, a small smile still teasing his lips. “In brilliant condition,” I quickly corrected and then cleared my throat several times, buying myself some time to scramble for a lie before finding one and adding, “considering you’re carrying such a bad injury.”
“I like you,” Johnny shot back without an ounce of hesitation. Well, I love you, Johnny Kavanagh! Even though you’re leaving. Even though you don’t feel the same. Even though loving you is going to break my heart. I love you with everything I have. And I probably always will.
I wanted to fight all her battles. I wanted to give her all her smiles and make her laugh and snatch her away from the rest of the world and keep her all to myself. I just wanted her. For keeps.
But I already felt like I was drowning with her. That’s how consumed I was in this girl. That’s how much I loved her. Fuck.
“I don’t want to know if he can play rugby or not,” I squeezed out as a wave of guilt swallowed me up. “I want to know if he is okay! Him. Johnny! The person. Not the fucking rugby player!” Gibsie tilted his head to one side, studying me with a curious look. “Well, aren’t you a keeper?” he finally mused, tone low.
“I’m so in love with him, Claire,” I confessed, and then I burst into tears. “I love him so much that the thought of him not being okay is killing me.”
“I think I love that girl.”
“She makes my heart go, like, whoa.” “Is that right?” he mused. “So bad, Da.” I sighed. “Boom, boom, fucking boom.” I shook my head. “All the time.”
“See, Da?” I slapped my chest. “Boom, fucking boom, boom.”
