Binding 13 (Boys of Tommen, #1)

by Chloe Walsh

“Am I hurting you?” I asked against his lips. “Only if you stop.” He knotted his hand in the back of my hair and deepened the kiss. I think I’m in love with you. I think I’m falling. Please don’t hurt me. Please don’t ever hurt me.

Startled, I broke the kiss and tried to scramble off Johnny’s lap. Tried being the appropriate word because Johnny caught ahold of my hand and pulled me back to him. When he reached down and adjusted my skirt, pushing it back down, I almost died on the mortal spot.

“Is that the kind of reputation you want starting off at Tommen, Miss Lynch?” he demanded. “Do you want to be one of those girls?” Tears pricked my eyes and I quickly shook my head. “Hey, don’t talk to her like that,” Johnny snapped, leaning forward, shielding me from Mr. Mulcahy’s view. “Come on, Johnny!” Coach grumbled impatiently. “Think about how this looks.” “I don’t give a fuck how it looks,” Johnny snarled. He jerked to his feet only to quickly stagger backwards and collapse on the bench with a pained grunt. “You don’t talk about her like that,” he bit out, nostrils flaring. “No one talks about her like that.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” I whispered, cupping his face to steady him. “You’re okay.” He shook his head again, eyes looking slightly glazed before finding focus on my face. “I’m sorry,” he croaked out, voice slurring a little. “For what?” “For not”—he closed his eyes and exhaled a pained groan—“kissing you back that night.” “Don’t worry about it,” I whispered, clutching his face with my hands. “Don’t even think about it right now, okay?” “I wanted to,” he grunted, clenching his eyes shut as a huge shiver rolled through his body. “I promise.” “Johnny, it’s okay,” I croaked out, blinking the tears away. He looked like he was in so much pain, I could hardly take it.

“Bye, Johnny,” I whispered, hovering in the doorway, fighting back the urge to run back to him. His pain-filled eyes landed on mine. “Bye, Shannon.” I love you. I am so in love with you. Please be okay.

“Shan,” Claire sighed softly. “You’re feeling like this because you care about Johnny.” Nodding, I clenched my eyes shut and tensed my body to stop the tremors from racking through me. “And maybe because you love him?” Exhaling a ragged breath, I rolled onto my back and turned my face to look at my best friend. “I’m so in love with him, Claire,” I confessed, and then I burst into tears. “I love him so much that the thought of him not being okay is killing me.” “Does Johnny know how you feel?” I shook my head and cried harder. “I shouldn’t have left him,” I sobbed. “I should have stayed with him.” “You couldn’t,” she said in a gentle tone. “Mr. Mulcahy would’ve never allowed you.” “He looked so scared, Claire,” I strangled out as my body racked with sobs. “You didn’t see him, but he was so scared. And then they took him away in that ambulance. I watched him go. I watched them take him away. And now? Now I don’t know where he is or if he’s alone—”

“Gerard?” she whispered, pressing her ear to the door. “Yeah, it’s me, babe,” Gibsie’s voice came from the other side. Thank god. Scrambling off the bed, I hurried to the door just as Claire pulled it open. We both winced when the hallway light almost blinded us both. “Hey,” Gibsie acknowledged as he stood in the doorway wrapped in a coat and beany cap. “Thought you’d be up.” “What’s happening?” Claire quickly asked him. “Have you heard anything?” “Is Johnny okay?” I demanded. “Is he out of surgery yet?” “Were you talking to his parents?” Claire asked. “Is his mam with him?” “Is he okay?” I repeated, voice rising. “One at a time, girls. Christ,” Gibsie muttered as he stepped back into the hallway and gestured for us to follow him. We both went without hesitation. “I just got off the phone from his dad,” Gibsie stated as he leaned against the wall, looking pale and exhausted. “This goes no further than the three of us,” he added, casting us both warning glances. “Is that clear?” We both nodded. Gibsie, in turn, nodded wearily. “He’s out of surgery. Everything went fine,” he quickly added, looking at me. “Your boy’s alright, little Shannon. Take a breath.”

“Do you remember the match last night?” he asked. “You were in a bad way, son.” “I remember the girl,” I slurred.

“Da, there’s a girl,” I announced when the door clicked again. “I know, Johnny,” Dad said calmly. “That was your nurse.” “No, no, no,” I slurred, shaking my head. “There’s a girl, Da. A girl.” “Where, son?” “There’s a girl on the bus,” I slurred. “I need you to find her for me.” “There’s no girl, pet,” Dad coaxed. “There’s no bus, either. You’re jacked up on morphine.” “Oh, fuck,” I groaned. “Am I dying or something?” “No, Johnny, love, you’re not dying.” “Thank fuck,” I groaned. “’Cause I wanna see that girl again.” “Okay, Johnny. Just relax, buddy.” “No, no, no, Da. I’m serious,” I slurred. “I think I love that girl.” “Well, who’s this girl?” “She’s a river.” I sighed and closed my eyes. “I’m keeping her, Da.” “Okay, son,” he coaxed. “You keep the girl.” “She makes my heart go, like, whoa.” “Is that right?” he mused. “So bad, Da.” I sighed. “Boom, boom, fucking boom.” I shook my head. “All the time.”

“Ma!” I exclaimed. “You know the girl!” “What girl, love?” “My girl.” I slapped a hand against my nose, itching the scratch, or scratching the itch. I didn’t know about anything anymore, but I felt fucking great. “See, Da?” I slapped my chest. “Boom, fucking boom, boom.”

“She’s sixteen now, and I’m—” I slapped my forehead. “Seventeen.” “What are you talking about, Johnny?” “The fractions, Ma,” I groaned. “They’re closing in.” “Fractions of what, love?” “Not too much longer to wait.” I sighed. “Thank fuck, ’cause I’m in love.” “You’re in love?” I nodded happily. “And she’s a river.” “Well, that’s…lovely, pet,” Mam coaxed, sounding confused. “Good boy.” “I’m gonna sail my boat down her river,” I snickered. “My dick boat.” “Can they knock him back out?” Ma grumbled. “He’s going to give me a stroke with all this talk.” “It’s okay, Ma,” I coaxed. “I’m gonna keep her, too. Make all my babies with her because my balls work—and Da says I can pull on my dick again. Woo!” “John!” Mam gasped. “What have you been telling our son?” Dad laughed. “He’s seventeen, Edel. It’s the first thing he’s going to ask about after a surgery like that.” “Oh, dear Jesus,” Mam groaned. “And I’m gonna buy her a ring…and a dog…and sail a boat…and I’m gonna look at her tits because I can.” I sighed in contentment. “She’s got the best tits, Da.”

“Listen,” Gibsie said in a serious tone. “I brought a friend to see him.” “You’re my friend,” I replied with a sigh. “My favorite, fucked-up friend.” “I know I am, bud,” Gibsie coaxed, squeezing my hand. “And you’re mine.” “A friend?” Mam questioned. “Yeah, uh, she’s right outside.” “You found her, Gibs!” I exclaimed. “Thank fuck. I thought I lost her.” “I did, buddy,” Gibsie chuckled softly. “I brought Shannon back to you.” “Shannon like the river,” I sighed contently. “Shannon Lynch?” Mam exclaimed. “That’s who he’s rambling on about?” “Oh, yeah,” Gibsie mused. “What happened to being friends, Johnny?” Mam asked. “I lied,” I snickered. “I’ve been lying all along.” “Oh, Johnny,” Mam sighed. “You never had to lie, baby. I like that girl.” “She’s mine,” I grumbled. “You can’t have her.” Gibsie laughed loudly. “Everyone knows that, Cap.” Twisting my head, I tried to find my father. “Da?” “I’m still right here,” Dad assured me, squeezing my right hand. “She’s the one,” I whispered, trying to eyeball him in the darkness. “With the perfect tits.” “You saw her tits?” Gibsie asked. I nodded happily. “Yep.” “When?” “When she was playing with my calculator,” I slurred. “I love her, Gibs. So much. Balls much.” “I know you do,” Gibsie mused, patting my shoulder. “Bulldozer.” I shrugged. “And I’m not even sorry.” “Gerard, maybe you shouldn’t bring Shannon in here,” Mam said, sounding concerned. “He’s partial to say anything right about now.” “No, no, no,” I grumbled, not feeling happy...

“Hi, Johnny,” I said, my voice barely more than a whisper. “Boom, boom, fucking boom, Da,” Johnny slurred, clutching his chest. “I’m done for.” His choice of words caused Gibsie to laugh loudly and Mrs. Kavanagh, who had rejoined us, to groan in despair.

“Bring the lights back, Da,” Johnny instructed, slurring his words. “Light up the world. You need to see this girl.” “Johnny,” his mother said in a warning tone. “Behave yourself.” “I wanna see her, Ma,” he groaned. “I can’t see her.” My heart leaped in my chest. “Me?” I squeaked. “Always you,”

“See her, Da? See? So fucking beautiful!” Johnny announced. “Told ye all.” Oh god…

“Shannon,” Johnny slurred, sounding terribly groggy. “She’s too far away.” “I’m here, Johnny,” I croaked out. “You’re here?” He nodded, more to himself than anyone else. “Don’t leave me again.” My heart squeezed in my chest and my words came out in a small puff. “I won’t.” I felt incredibly uncomfortable, having both of his parents in the room, but I pushed down those feelings and made my legs walk toward him. “How are you feeling?” I asked, closing the space between us, choosing to come around Gibsie’s side of the bed. “Are you okay?” “Come closer,” Johnny purred, his bleary eyes trained on my face as he crooked his finger at me. “I wanna show you something.” “Uh, okay?” Stepping around Gibsie, I moved to his bedside. “Don’t you dare!” Mrs. Kavanagh barked, causing me to jerk back and Johnny to groan. “Spoilsport,” Johnny huffed. “John, tuck those blankets under the mattress,” she instructed before turning her glare on her son. “I don’t care how high you are, Jonathan Robert Kavanagh Jr., I will cut it off if you so much as think about showing her.” “Show me what?” I asked nervously. “My dick,” Johnny announced, twisting to face me. “You wanna see?” He smiled lazily up at me. “It’s all better now.” Gibsie threw his head back and howled laughing. Mr. Kavanagh joined him. “And Jesus wept,” Mrs. Kavanagh sobbed. “He’s high, little Shannon,” Gibsie explained, still snickering. “As a fucking kite.” “Oh, well, that’s okay,” I whispered, feeling my cheeks flame in embarrassment....

“See, Ma,” Johnny said in a groggy slur. “She’ll have my babies—” He twisted his head from side to side until he found my face. And then he smiled. “You’ll have my babies, won’t you?” “I…” I cleared my throat and exhaled a ragged breath. “I…” “Shannon, I am so sorry,” Mrs. Kavanagh strangled out. “Say it,” Johnny groaned, clutching my hand. “Tell me you’ll have my babies.” “Johnny—” “Just tell me you will,” he begged loudly. “Just say it, Shannon! Please! I can’t take it.” “Sure?” I croaked out, feeling faint. “Whatever you want, Johnny.” “Gibs,” Johnny called out happily. “Did you hear that, lad?” “I sure did, Bulldozer.” “Didn’t I do good, Da?” he continued to rave. “See? I found her!” “You did a great job,” Mr. Kavanagh coaxed.

“Listen, I have to go,” I whispered, turning my attention back to Johnny, heart still hammering in my chest. “I’ll try and come back later before the bus leaves, okay?” “No, no, no,” Johnny groaned, holding onto my hand with both of his. “You said you wouldn’t leave me.” Oh god. “Johnny, I know, but I have to go,” I whispered, flustered. “It’s family only.” “She’s my wife,” he announced then, blowing my mind clean open. “Jonathan Kavanagh,” his mother snapped. “Stop this right now! You’ll scare the girl.” “What are ya talking about?” Johnny slurred. “I’m not scaring her. I love her.” “Johnny, I’ll come back,” I coaxed, exhaling a trembling breath. “I promise I’ll come back, okay?” I tried to pull my hand free from his, but he wouldn’t let go. He was shaking his head and looking up at me with big, wide, high-as-a-kite eyes. “I have to go,” I repeated, feeling completely torn. “I’m so sorry.” “I’ll come with you,” he announced, and then proceed to use one hand to rip at his wires. “Stop that,” I ordered, capturing his rogue hand with my free one. “You’ll hurt yourself.” “I want you,” he groaned, pulling at my arms. “Just you.” At a loss, I glanced up at his parents, who were watching our little wrestling match. Mr. Kavanagh simply shook his head and led a snickering Gibsie out of the room. “I’ll go,” I promised Mrs. Kavanagh. “I just need to—” My words broke off when Johnny wrapped his arms around my waist and clung to me.

“You are in trouble with me,” I told Johnny once the door had clicked shut, leaving us alone together. “When you’re back to your senses, we’re going to talk about what you just did.” “I don’t care,” he slurred groggily. “I got what I wanted.” “And what was that?” I asked. “To embarrass your mother?” “You,” he slurred. “I got you.” Oh god. My heart. “Johnny, you’re saying strange things right now,” I murmured. And you need to stop. Because it hurts. “Look at that face,” he whispered, staring up at me with a peculiar expression. “I’m gonna keep you.” “Okay.” Relenting to his madness, I coaxed him to lie back on his pillow. “You can keep me.” Sitting beside him, I leaned forward, rested an arm on one side of his head, and stroked his cheek with my free hand. His hands were still wrapped around my waist, but not so tightly now. “Close your eyes,” I told him softly. “I’ll be here when you wake up.” “Tell me you love me,” he pleaded. “Johnny—” “Tell me.” Inhaling a steadying breath, I whispered, “Johnny, I love you.” “Thank fuck,” he groaned, exhaling loudly. “You won’t remember this,” I added shakily. “But I will.” Which was the only reason I was telling him my truth. “I love your tits,” he informed me then. “You haven’t seen them.” He nodded solemnly. “I have.” I shook my head. “No, you must be thinking about someone else.” “I’m only ever thinking about you,” he replied. “Only you.” My heart. My poor, poor heart. I didn’t stand a chance with this boy. “And your pussy.” He clos...

Johnny shook his head and pulled me closer. “Sleep with me.” “Johnny, you’re just after surgery,” I sighed. “You need to rest.” “If this is love, then it’s you,” he replied, dragging me down to lie beside him. “Huh?” I asked as I slid onto my side and tried my best not to poke at his legs. “You,” he mumbled sleepily, dropping a heavy arm around my shoulders. “Me what?” I whispered as I placed my hand on his stomach and snuggled into his side. “You are love.” He sighed contently. “Stay with me.” Always. “I’ll stay with you,” I whispered, feeling more in this moment than I could handle. “Who’s making you sad?” he asked then, voice slurred and sleepy. “Tell me, baby.” “Nobody, Johnny.” “You lie and it hurts my heart,” he groaned, tightening his hold on me. “All those marks. It hurts when I know someone’s hurting my Shannon.” “Johnny—” “Who’s hurting you, baby?” he slurred sleepily. He yawned loudly and then sighed. “I’ll fix it.” “It’s a secret,” I breathed, feeling my body shake. “I won’t tell,” he whispered. Inhaling a trembling breath, I clenched my eyes shut and pressed my lips to his ear. “My father.” I waited several beats for him to say something. He didn’t. When I opened my eyes and looked at his face, I realized why. Johnny was asleep.

“I panicked and I reacted on her, but she’s fragile, Da. She’s so… And I’m so in—” “Love with her?” Dad smirked. “Yes, we all know, Johnny. You shouted it from the rooftop last night.” “Shite,” I groaned. “Was she freaked out?” “Your mother certainly was.” Dad laughed. “When you told her Shannon would mother your children.” “Jesus Christ,” I whimpered. “Why didn’t you stop me?” “We couldn’t,” he replied. “You would only settle down for Shannon. You fell asleep in her arms.” Ugh. Christ.