Binding 13 (Boys of Tommen, #1)

by Chloe Walsh

“I like you,” Johnny shot back without an ounce of hesitation. Well, I love you, Johnny Kavanagh!

“Words, Shannon,” he pushed, tone gruff. “I need the words.”

Songs for Shannon. With my heart racing, I cast a quick peek up at Johnny, but he was still fully immersed in vulgar sign language with Gibsie. Exhaling a small puff of air from my lungs, I pressed into the playlist and quickly scrolled through the list of songs. Coldplay—“Yellow” Guns N’ Roses—“Sweet Child O’ Mine” Goo Goo Dolls—“Iris” The Fureys—“When You Were Sweet Sixteen” Howie Day—“Collide” The Offspring—“Want You Bad” Busted—“Fall at Your Feet” Aerosmith—“Crazy” Counting Crows—“Colorblind” David Gray—“This Year’s Love” Bon Jovi—“In These Arms” Westlife—“World of Our Own” Eagle-Eye Cherry—“Save Tonight” Metallica—“Tuesday’s Gone” Snow Patrol—“Run” The Verve—“Lucky Man” HIM—“Wicked Game” The La’s—“There She Goes”

Without another word, he leaned down and pressed a lingering kiss to my forehead. And then he turned around and walked away. Reeling, I watched him until he disappeared into the clubhouse, and then I walked back to my friends. Confused was an understatement for how I was feeling. The sheer depth of my feelings for him was unhealthy. The adoration, the lust, the downright infatuation I had for him…it was insanity. I had never felt this much. I had never felt so consumed.

If Gibsie hadn’t come over, I would have kissed her. I knew I would have. I already knew what those lips felt like. I wanted so badly to taste them again. I would taste them again. I was starving for her and everything she was. Every part of her. Inside and out. I wanted to fight all her battles. I wanted to give her all her smiles and make her laugh and snatch her away from the rest of the world and keep her all to myself. I just wanted her. For keeps. I knew that was incredibly selfish of me, and I knew that I was probably going to end up fucking up everything and breaking her heart, but the problem was, my heart was involved, too. I needed to talk to her tonight because I needed to lay it out there. I couldn’t go another day without getting it off my chest. Months of wanting, lusting, and pining after her had left me at a point where I couldn’t see straight anymore. Because I had caught feelings for Shannon. Huge fucking feelings. Permanent ones. I knew I was too old for her. I knew she was too sweet and pure to be dragged into the limelight that came with my life. And I knew that she was too fucking broken for a guy like me to get tangled up with. But I already felt like I was drowning with her. That’s how consumed I was in this girl. That’s how much I loved her. Fuck.

“I don’t want to know if he can play rugby or not,” I squeezed out as a wave of guilt swallowed me up. “I want to know if he is okay! Him. Johnny! The person. Not the fucking rugby player!”

“I can go and get Gibsie?” I offered weakly. Johnny shook his head. “I only want you.”

Keeping my right hand wrapped around his, I used my left to reach over and turn his chin. “Those fuckers,” I grumbled, eyeing the purple bruising on the side of his cheek and the cut above his brow that was once again clotting. “Your poor face.”

I kissed him again. “Fuck,” he grunted, legs shaking now. “I can’t…” The third time I kissed him, he fisted my hair and pulled my face to his. “Shannon,” Johnny groaned, sounding both pained and breathless, as he gently pressed his forehead to mine. “We can’t—” I silenced whatever he was about to say by putting my lips on his. And just like before, he turned to stone. “I’m sorry,” I strangled out, pulling back. “I did it again.” “It’s okay,” he told me, breathing hard just like before. “No, no, no,” I strangled out as I scrambled to my feet and lunged for the door. “You’re injured! You’re waiting to go to the hospital for Christ’s sake, and I just—oh god! I am so sorry.” “Shannon, wait,” Johnny called out as he scrambled for his crutch. “Wait!”

“Why are you sorry?” I breathed, trembling from head to toe. He cupped my cheek with his free hand and tilted my chin up. “Because I shouldn’t do this,” he whispered. And then he kissed me. The moment his lips crushed against mine, a fierce blast of heat coursed through my body, igniting a delicious burning ache in my belly. Unable to think straight, let alone breathe, I did the only thing I could do given the circumstance: I reached up and grabbed his forearms and kissed him back. This was my first real kiss, minus the disaster in his bedroom, and I had no idea what I was doing. I only knew that I never wanted him to stop. When I felt one of his hands trail down my arm and settle on my hip, I lost it. I completely and utterly took leave of my senses. Shivering uncontrollably, I let my back sag against the doorframe as my hips thrust closer to him.

“Are you okay?” I breathed against his lips as I held onto his shoulders. “Just keep kissing me,” he strangled out. “I want you so much.” I shivered violently. “You do?” “So fucking much,” he groaned against my lips, and then his hands were on my thighs, his fingers hiking my fitted skirt up to pool at my hips before pulling me down on his lap, encouraging me to straddle him.

“Am I hurting you?” I asked against his lips. “Only if you stop.” He knotted his hand in the back of my hair and deepened the kiss.

“I’m so in love with him, Claire,” I confessed, and then I burst into tears. “I love him so much that the thought of him not being okay is killing me.” “Does Johnny know how you feel?” I shook my head and cried harder. “I shouldn’t have left him,” I sobbed. “I should have stayed with him.”

“Gerard?” she whispered, pressing her ear to the door. “Yeah, it’s me, babe,” Gibsie’s voice came from the other side.

“You keep the girl.” “She makes my heart go, like, whoa.” “Is that right?” he mused. “So bad, Da.” I sighed. “Boom, boom, fucking boom.” I shook my head. “All the time.”

“She’s the one,” I whispered, trying to eyeball him in the darkness. “With the perfect tits.”

“Hi, Johnny.” “Boom, boom, fucking boom, Da,” I groaned, slapping a hand against my chest. “I’m done for.”

MY BABIES

“You’re here?” He nodded, more to himself than anyone else. “Don’t leave me again.” My heart squeezed in my chest and my words came out in a small puff. “I won’t.”

“It’s mine.” “What’s yours?” I asked. “You.” He sighed and tightened his hold on me. “And your perfect little pussy.” “Johnny,” I breathed. “You can’t say things like that.” “Touch my dick.” “No, Johnny, I’m not touching your dick.” “Are you sure?” I chuckled. “I’m sure.” “But you will, right?” he asked, looking forlorn. “Someday?” “Someday,” I whispered in his ear. “I promise.” He smiled up at me with this adorable drunk expression. “Gimme a kiss,” he purred.

“I think I need you for keeps,” he slurred. “I think I need you for keeps, too,” I confessed. “You are so pretty,” he slurred. “That very first day. Boom.”

Shannon as her feelings deepen for Johnny: The Chainsmokers—“Don’t Let Me Down” Johnny as his feelings deepen for Shannon: Dean Lewis—“Lose My Mind” Shannon and Johnny in the changing room in Dublin: James Last—“Here Comes the Sun” In Johnny’s bedroom, when Shannon is crying: Imaginary Future—“Here Comes the Sun” Joey’s feelings for Aoife: Walking on Cars—“Flying High Falling Low” Gibsie and Johnny in most of their scenes: Chester See and Ryan Higa—“Bromance” Joey’s altercation with his father: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus—“Face Down” Johnny losing the run of himself with Shannon: Jamie Lawson—“Ahead of Myself” Johnny when he’s realizing he’s falling in love with Shannon: The Killers—“Mr. Brightside” When Shannon goes up to his room for the first time: The Fray—“Look After You” Johnny after his surgery with his father: X Ambassadors—“Unsteady” Shannon in the final scene: Raign—“Knocking on Heaven’s Door”