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Darren was born gay, the same way Joey was born straight and I was born empty.
I’d long since grown tired of begging for love from a man who, in his own words, never wanted me.
It was January. It was wet. It was cold. And for some strange, disconcerting reason, I was burning the fuck up on the inside.
She opened her eyes, and fuck me, I unintentionally sucked in a sharp breath. Jesus, this girl was beautiful
Her blue eyes were big and round and fucking beautiful, with small hues of yellow dotting through them, rimmed with thick long lashes.
“You promise?” she whispered, a tiny smile pulling at her swollen lips. “Yeah,” I replied gruffly, feeling like I would promise all the fucking promises in the world just to make this girl feel better. “I’ve got your back.”
Thank fuck for that, because you’re ruining all of me right now, I thought to myself.
It mattered that she was able to do this to me. It mattered that, hours later, I was still thinking about her, wondering about her, and inevitably worrying about her. It mattered that she mattered when no one ever mattered to me before.
Dammit, I knew she was vulnerable. That feeling I had earlier today? The pain I was so sure I’d seen in her eyes. It was real, it was there, I recognized it, and now I could do something about it. I could prevent anything like this from happening again. It wouldn’t happen again. Not on my goddamn watch.
I was achingly aware of him; my body shifting into high alert whenever our arms brushed in the crowded hallways between classes.
Shannon Lynch had eyes the color of midnight blue that wouldn’t stay the fuck out of my head.
“Look at her, Johnny,” he groaned, ignoring my jab. “Look at how beautiful that girl is. Christ, it might be that sunshine hair, but I swear she glows
“But I’ve a feeling that I’m going to marry her.”
Johnny’s attention wasn’t on the medic or the referee shouting commands in his ear. He was too busy looking at me
In the moment it made sense to just go over and talk to her. Because I didn’t want her to be on her own. Because I could hardly concentrate during the game, knowing she was watching me. Because when she turned around to leave, my legs moved of their own accord, desperate to intercept her.
sagged in relief. “Thank you.” “I’m here for you,” was all Claire replied in a sad tone of voice. “Forever.”
once they chose you as their human, you had a faithful friend for the rest of their lives.
But you and me? We stick together.”
I felt like I was slowly dying in that house. In my home. Where I was supposed to lay my head. Where I was supposed to feel safe
Because somewhere deep down inside of me, I felt like she knew me. Like she could save me?
I needed to get out of here before I did something really stupid, like put her back in my car and take her home with me. Because a fucked-up glitch in my brain told me to do just that.
God, he was just so beautiful, it was painful. Everything about Johnny Kavanagh was pure perfection.
“Who wants to call my girlfriend a whore to my face
Her eyes burned holes in me so deep that I had to look away before completely losing myself in the girl.
Shit, this girl was too much.
“I trust you,”
“I’ll protect you, Shannon like the river
He held my hand.
No, he was perfect. God hadn’t made a single mistake with this particular boy.
“You’re good for me.”
“I want to be here with you.
Shannon soaked up every sliver of my attention. It wasn’t a healthy feeling, but it was an addictive one.
Please don’t ever leave me.
“I love how you don’t even deny she’s yours anymore, lad.”
“Shit, Kav,” Gibsie snickered, taking a step back from the stove. “I was wrong. This fucker right here is the daddy.”
“You like her.” He arched another brow at me and tilted his head to one side. “Maybe even more than like her.”
“What do you want me to do, Shannon?” Johnny strangled out. “Tell me what to do here.” “Hold me,” I sobbed, burying my face in his neck. “Don’t let go.”
Trembling, I clung to his body and prayed for him to be my strength in this moment because I couldn’t do this anymore. I couldn’t live like this. I was so alone. All my life. I was so scared.
“Thanks,”
“For what?”
“Holding me and not letting go,”
Without a hint of warning, Johnny grabbed my hips and lifted me onto the stool.
“You never know,” he said with a smirk. “I might take you with me so you can cheer me on in the stands.” Please do. Please take me away with you.
A little while later, when my eyes began to droop, he lifted his arm, and I didn’t even flinch when it came down around my shoulder. Instead, I nestled my cheek against his side and closed my eyes, allowing myself to drift off to sleep without an ounce of fear in my heart because it couldn’t exist inside of me, not when this boy had his arm around me.
She was fucking perfect.
I would do pretty much anything for you.
Because I had never felt this much for anyone.
You love him with every piece of your fractured heart…
Well, I love you, Johnny Kavanagh! Even though you’re leaving. Even though you don’t feel the same. Even though loving you is going to break my heart. I love you with everything I have. And I probably always will.
I wanted to crawl onto his lap and I wanted to run far away from him all at once. It didn’t make sense to me. I was incredibly confused. My feelings were terrifying me.
