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Jesus, she needed to stop asking me what I wanted her to do. If she kept it up, I might be stupid enough to tell her the truth. And then we were both screwed.
“So,” Johnny said again, shifting restlessly as he smoothed a hand down his thigh. “What do you want to do?” “I don’t mind,” I replied. “I’ll do whatever you want to do.” “Fuck.” Johnny clenched his eyes shut and groaned. “Oh god, are you okay?” I hurried to ask, well aware he was in pain. “All good,” he assured me in a tight tone.
It didn’t say much about me as a person when all I excelled at in life was kicking ass on GTA, but it was better than nothing.
“I’m not a virgin.” “Oh, dear…okay. That’s okay, love. That’s perfectly fine,” she rambled, tone forced. “I just presumed that since you’ve never brought a girl home before now, or talked about girlfriends, that you weren’t pursuing any love partners—” “Keep talking and I’m going to jump out a window,” I warned her. “I’m not messing around. I will go upstairs and hurl myself off the fucking roof.”
This time, when I stepped out of the bathroom, I was prepared for Sookie and found her snoozing on the bed. I was not, however, prepared for the sight of Johnny’s naked ass.
“Someone touched you,” Johnny whispered in my ear, placing his fingers on the marks. “I want to know who.”
“Tell me who put their hands on you,” he coaxed as he stood behind me, my face in his hand and his fingers on my throat. “And I’ll make it better.”
“I want to help you.” He placed his hands on my outer thighs and looked up at me, blue eyes wide and sincere. He squeezed my thighs gently. “All you have to do is tell me what’s happening, okay?” Reaching up, he tucked a wet strand of hair behind my ear. “Just tell me who’s hurting you and I’ll make it go away.” You can’t help me. No one can. I took that beating for talking to you. For taking a fucking picture with you. You are the last person who can help me.
Releasing an unsteady breath, I reached up, grabbed Johnny’s neck, and pulled his face down to mine. And then I kissed him.
Someone squeezed her throat, and they did it so hard they left fucking fingerprints on her. If she was being bullied at Tommen, then I was going to find out. If it was McGarry, then I was going to end up in a cell. If it was those fuckers from BCS, then they might as well lock me in a straitjacket.
“Jesus Christ,” Johnny groaned, dropping his head in his hands. “Of course, I like you.” He tugged on his hair and sighed. “I think it’s pretty fucking clear that I’m mad about you.”
“If I had a penis or liked girls, I would want you.” “Thanks,” I half sobbed, half laughed. “If I had a penis or liked girls, I’d want you, too.”
“Ma decided it would be a wonderful idea to make Shannon take a bleeding shower.” I cast him an evil glare. “Another one.” “Are you shitting me?” Gibsie snickered. “I shit you not,” I bit out, turning up the familiar laneway to Tommen. “Ma also thought it was a fabulous fucking idea to take Shannon’s wet clothes and put them in the dryer.” “Stop. I can’t. This is too priceless.” He threw his head back and howled laughing. “Mammy Kavanagh’s a better wingman than I am!”
“I tried to talk it out with her, but she wasn’t having it, lad. She didn’t want to hear a word I had to say.” “What did you try and tell her?” “The truth?” I offered wearily. “That I’m leaving in a couple of months and can’t commit to her.” “You’re a little stupid for a genius, aren’t ya?” Gibsie mused. I turned to glare at him. “Excuse me?” “You drive her home multiple times, you take her out to the pub, to the cinema, you bring her home to your house—twice—and then she kisses you, and you reject her,” he shot back. “What did you expect her to do? Sit there and listen to it?” “I did not
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“She had every bleeding code memorized.” “Oh god,” Gibsie groaned. “That is so fucking sexy.” I pointed to the passenger door. “Get out of my car.” “I’m not thinking about her like that.” He laughed as he swung the door open and climbed out. Yeah, he fucking was.
“Where are we going?” I whispered, hurrying to keep his pace. “Away from here,” he bit out, jaw clenching. “Why?” “Because if I stay here and she says something to you, I’ll lose my shit. If you stay here and she says something to you, I’ll lose my shit,” he explained in a tight tone. “Therefore, I need to go”—he paused to pull the glass door open and usher me outside—“and you need to come with me,” he finished, leading me into the rain.
“You would do that for me?” she asked, voice soft. I would do pretty much anything for you.
Because of her. Because when she jumped, I flew clean off the ledge after her.
Sweet Jesus Christ. I loved tits. And tits that belonged to this girl were even more appealing. They were small and perky with rosy-tipped, pebbled nipples. She was just so fucking beautiful. I was instantly hard. “Are you okay?” Shannon asked, placing her small hand on my forearm. “Huh?” I snapped my gaze to her face, totally fucking busted. “Are you okay?” she repeated, blue eyes locked on mine, expression innocent. I was about the furthest a person could get from okay. But for her sake, I forced a small nod and said, “Yeah, I’m just getting a bit hungry.” What the actual fuck, Johnny?
“What would you like to eat?” You. I would like to eat you, Shannon.
“Maybe in the library next time,” I finally found the words to say. “Or school.” Her small heart-shaped face nodded up and down. “Okay.” “Because I shouldn’t be here,” I added weakly. “In your room.” “I know,” she replied, voice small and uncertain. “It’s, uh…” I swallowed deeply. “I should probably go home now.” “Johnny?” she whispered. “Yeah?” “Hi,” she breathed, edging closer. “Hi,” I croaked out, fisting her duvet so tightly I was fairly sure I was going to rip the fabric.
“I should go,” I continued to tell her as I buried my face in her gorgeous neck and prayed for divine intervention to stop me before I took something from her that I couldn’t give back. Before she took something from me that I could never get back.
I knew I was probably freaking Shannon out by just standing here like this, but I couldn’t walk until I had calmed down. I was hurt and horny. It was a terrible combination. Inhaling several calming breaths, I clenched my eyes shut and strived for control, and thought of every unsexy thing imaginable, ranging from my dead grandmother, God bless her soul, to Gibsie in drag.
I needed to be really fucking careful with my next move, because once I decided that she was the girl for me, that would be that. Once I committed myself, once my heart laid claim on her, I might as well slap a label on my forehead stating, I’m yours. Please be gentle with me because I’m here to stay.
“But just so you know?” he added. “She’s always been your Shannon.”
“She’s a dirty council-house slut,” Bella chimed evilly. “There’s no lie in that.” “You better watch your fucking mouth,” Johnny snarled, slipping past me. My heart sank. I tried and I failed. “Why? What are you going to do if I don’t, Johnny?” Bella hissed, jumping out of her chair and slapping his chest. “Hit me?” “No…” Johnny paused to drag Cormac Ryan out of his chair, “I’m going to hit him.” And then he smashed his fist into Cormac Ryan’s face.
“If you fuck with her one more time, I will ruin you.” She glared at me. “I’d like to see you try.” “I will ruin you,” I repeated, voice deathly cold. “Your reputation. Your status. Your friends. Your future relationships. Everything. If you fuck with Shannon Lynch again, I will take everything from you.”
“I like you,” Johnny shot back without an ounce of hesitation. Well, I love you, Johnny Kavanagh! Even though you’re leaving. Even though you don’t feel the same. Even though loving you is going to break my heart. I love you with everything I have. And I probably always will.
These were love songs. These were all love songs. Saved to a playlist with my name on it.
If feelings were objects, then I was teetering on the edge of a great precipice, and if girls were weapons, then Shannon Lynch was the greatest weapon of mass destruction my heart had ever been exposed to.
“I need you to stay safe out there, okay?” Yeah, at this stage, it was safe to say I was thoroughly fucked when it came to that girl.
I already knew what those lips felt like. I wanted so badly to taste them again. I would taste them again. I was starving for her and everything she was. Every part of her. Inside and out. I wanted to fight all her battles. I wanted to give her all her smiles and make her laugh and snatch her away from the rest of the world and keep her all to myself. I just wanted her. For keeps.
I had caught feelings for Shannon. Huge fucking feelings. Permanent ones.
Gently, I traced the scar and surrounding bruising with my fingers. “Does it hurt when I touch you like this?” “It hurts,” he replied, tone hoarse. Exhaling a heavy breath, I stroked his thigh and fought the urge to press a kiss to his cut. “For an entirely different reason,” he croaked out. And that’s when I noticed what I was doing—what I had been doing for the last minute or so. I was sitting on my knees between his legs, stroking his inner thigh, trying to soothe his ache away. My eyes flicked to the danger zone and my mouth ran dry. So that’s why people referred to it as pitching a tent.
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“Am I dying or something?” “No, Johnny, love, you’re not dying.” “Thank fuck,” I groaned. “’Cause I wanna see that girl again.” “Okay, Johnny. Just relax, buddy.” “No, no, no, Da. I’m serious,” I slurred. “I think I love that girl.” “Well, who’s this girl?” “She’s a river.” I sighed and closed my eyes. “I’m keeping her, Da.” “Okay, son,” he coaxed. “You keep the girl.” “She makes my heart go, like, whoa.” “Is that right?” he mused. “So bad, Da.” I sighed. “Boom, boom, fucking boom.” I shook my head. “All the time.”
“You’re in love?” I nodded happily. “And she’s a river.” “Well, that’s…lovely, pet,” Mam coaxed, sounding confused. “Good boy.” “I’m gonna sail my boat down her river,” I snickered. “My dick boat.” “Can they knock him back out?” Ma grumbled.
“Hi, Johnny,” I said, my voice barely more than a whisper. “Boom, boom, fucking boom, Da,” Johnny slurred, clutching his chest. “I’m done for.” His choice of words caused Gibsie to laugh loudly and Mrs. Kavanagh, who had rejoined us, to groan in despair. “Bring the lights back, Da,” Johnny instructed, slurring his words. “Light up the world. You need to see this girl.”
“You said you wouldn’t leave me.” Oh god. “Johnny, I know, but I have to go,” I whispered, flustered. “It’s family only.” “She’s my wife,” he announced then, blowing my mind clean open.
“And your pussy.” He closed his eyes and groaned. “I saw that, too.” Yes. Yes, he did. Oh, thank god he didn’t say that in front of his parents…
“All those marks. It hurts when I know someone’s hurting my Shannon.” “Johnny—” “Who’s hurting you, baby?” he slurred sleepily. He yawned loudly and then sighed. “I’ll fix it.” “It’s a secret,” I breathed, feeling my body shake. “I won’t tell,” he whispered. Inhaling a trembling breath, I clenched my eyes shut and pressed my lips to his ear. “My father.” I waited several beats for him to say something. He didn’t. When I opened my eyes and looked at his face, I realized why. Johnny was asleep.
“Make a choice, Mam,” Joey snarled as he glared down at our mother. “Him or us?”
