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I once read somewhere that we mature with damage, not with age.
She opened her eyes, and fuck me, I unintentionally sucked in a sharp breath. Jesus, this girl was beautiful. I’d noticed it earlier of course. She had a striking look about her. But now, seeing her up close like this and being able to count the freckles on her face—eleven by the way—it was hitting home just how striking she was.
Pregnant women made me nervous, but not nearly as much as Shannon like the river did.
It wasn’t until I was finished eating that I noticed the blue ice pack on top of my gear bag. There was a small note perched on top that read, “Ice your balls, Cap.” Fucking Gibsie.
Goddammit, why did she have to look like that? Why did every single thing about that tiny fucking girl scream out to me? It wasn’t fair. Actually, fuck fair; it was downright cruel.
I hated humans. They were such a disappointment. And to think God switched dinosaurs for man. He must be raging.
My voice trailed off, and I turned my face to look out my window, though all I could see was darkness outside. I wasn’t comfortable with the direction this conversation had taken. Every time I thought about my old school, a fresh batch of terror enveloped me. My reasons for being here weren’t something I was willing to talk about with anyone. “Hey.” I felt his fingers brush against the back of my hand, his voice closer now, soft and probing. “Where’d you go?”
“She’s a friend,” Mam snickered, tone laced with sarcasm. “Sure she is—and I’m the Virgin Mary.” “Don’t talk about your virginity to me,” I groaned. “Why?” Mam replied. “Would you rather I talk about yours?” No. No. Sweet Jesus, no! “I’m going to bed.”
“You are so concerned with fighting the bullies at school, Mam,” I sobbed, tears streaming down my cheeks, “when the biggest bully of them all lives under this roof.”
When I confessed to Claire during lunch that Johnny had dropped me home, her pupils dilated so much I’d thought she was about to have a stroke. It was a confession I instantly regretted, considering she didn’t let the matter drop. If she wasn’t asking me questions about what we talked about, none of which I divulged, she was pointing him out in the halls or doodling S.L. hearts J.K. in our homework journals.
“Now turn your ass around and take your little girlfriend back to the hole you both crawled out from.” “Or what?” Cormac growled, pressing his forehead against Gibsie’s. Bad fucking move on Ryan’s part. “There’s no contract hanging over my head like there is his, asshole,” Gibsie seethed, pushing back with his forehead. “I have no fucking problem stepping in on Kav’s behalf and kicking the ever-loving shit out of your turncoat ass.”
He started the engine and had just pulled onto the road when I felt the car brake suddenly. “What the fuck?” Joey barked seconds before two hands slammed down on the hood of his car. “Get off my car, asshole!” “You’re stealing my center,” Gibsie roared in the window as he leaned over the hood of the car. “Give him back.”
I shrugged and contemplated telling him to drive over the annoying fucker, but then I knew I would be terribly lonely without him. And in all fairness, he had taken a few slaps defending my honor tonight.
“Go fuck yourself, Gerard.” “I was being sincere, Jonathan,”
“What did you have?” “A few cheeseburgers and a curry chips.” “How did it taste?” “Better than sex.” “We’re supposed to be on a diet!” Gibsie hissed in an appalled tone before quickly asking, “Did you get me something?” “Yeah, I got you a burger.” “Thanks, Johnny.” “And then I got hungry so I ate it.” “You’re a monster.”
“Wait!” I croaked out, gripping his arms before he could go, still balancing on one foot. “What about my shoe?” Johnny glanced down at my feet and then behind me. Releasing a heavy sigh, he hooked an arm around my waist, pulled me to his side, hoisted me clean off the ground, and walked us over to the SUV.
She had her arms wrapped protectively around herself, with her long brown hair drenched from the rain and sticking in wet clumps to her face, and in my whole life, I’d never seen anything so beautiful.
“First, for the last bleeding time, Shannon is not my girlfriend,” I snapped, flustered. “Second, I haven’t been a virgin since first year. And third, I can roll a condom on in the dark with one hand tied behind my bleeding back, so I don’t need the sex talk, or tips, or any of that shite.” Mam gasped in horror and I mentally kicked the shite out of myself.
“You meddler,” I accused. “You sexer,” Mam shot back in a tone as equally accusing.
“Tell me who put their hands on you,” he coaxed as he stood behind me, my face in his hand and his fingers on my throat. “And I’ll make it better.”
“Jesus Christ,” Johnny groaned, dropping his head in his hands. “Of course, I like you.” He tugged on his hair and sighed. “I think it’s pretty fucking clear that I’m mad about you.”
“Fuck you, city boy.” “Fuck you right back, country boy.” “Capital Dick.” “Rebel Wankstain.”
“Just shut up and put your seat belt on,” I instructed, looking around for anything he could hurt. “And check your mirrors.” “Yes, Dad,” Gibsie muttered, complying with my commands.
“Well, who’s this girl?” “She’s a river.” I sighed and closed my eyes. “I’m keeping her, Da.” “Okay, son,” he coaxed. “You keep the girl.” “She makes my heart go, like, whoa.” “Is that right?” he mused. “So bad, Da.” I sighed. “Boom, boom, fucking boom.” I shook my head. “All the time.”
“Hi, Johnny.” “Boom, boom, fucking boom, Da,” I groaned, slapping a hand against my chest. “I’m done for.”
“Don’t you dare!” Mrs. Kavanagh barked, causing me to jerk back and Johnny to groan. “Spoilsport,” Johnny huffed. “John, tuck those blankets under the mattress,” she instructed before turning her glare on her son. “I don’t care how high you are, Jonathan Robert Kavanagh Jr., I will cut it off if you so much as think about showing her.” “Show me what?” I asked nervously. “My dick,” Johnny announced, twisting to face me. “You wanna see?” He smiled lazily up at me. “It’s all better now.” Gibsie threw his head back and howled laughing. Mr. Kavanagh joined him.
“You’ll have my babies, won’t you?” “I…” I cleared my throat and exhaled a ragged breath. “I…” “Shannon, I am so sorry,” Mrs. Kavanagh strangled out. “Say it,” Johnny groaned, clutching my hand. “Tell me you’ll have my babies.” “Johnny—” “Just tell me you will,” he begged loudly. “Just say it, Shannon! Please! I can’t take it.” “Sure?” I croaked out, feeling faint. “Whatever you want, Johnny.” “Gibs,” Johnny called out happily. “Did you hear that, lad?” “I sure did, Bulldozer.”