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You could love this girl your whole life, the crazy thought persisted inside my brain over and over, if you just let yourself.
Probably love her, too, I mused to myself, a fucking lot, before pushing that madness out as well.
“What do you want me to do, Shannon?” Johnny strangled out. “Tell me what to do here.” “Hold me,” I sobbed, burying my face in his neck. “Don’t let go.” “Okay.” One of his large hands cupped the back of my head and the other moved to my back as he held me to his chest, slowly rocking me on his lap. “I won’t,” he whispered, folding me up in his arms.
“Jesus Christ,” Johnny groaned, dropping his head in his hands. “Of course, I like you.” He tugged on his hair and sighed. “I think it’s pretty fucking clear that I’m mad about you.”
You. I would like to eat you, Shannon.
“Do you mind?” I asked then. He smirked. “No, baby, I don’t mind.” My heart stopped in my chest.
Stop lying to yourself, my brain hissed. You love him with every piece of your fractured heart…
Well, I love you, Johnny Kavanagh! Even though you’re leaving. Even though you don’t feel the same. Even though loving you is going to break my heart. I love you with everything I have. And I probably always will.
But I already felt like I was drowning with her. That’s how consumed I was in this girl. That’s how much I loved her. Fuck.
Johnny Kavanagh was kissing me back. He had his tongue in my mouth, his hand in my hair, and my heart in his pocket.
I think I’m in love with you. I think I’m falling.
I love you. I am so in love with you. Please be okay.
“She makes my heart go, like, whoa.” “Is that right?” he mused. “So bad, Da.” I sighed. “Boom, boom, fucking boom.” I shook my head. “All the time.”
“I love you, Shannon like the river,”
“You are worth so much more than rugby.”