I should have known better than to leave my phone alone with him when I went for a shower. The last time he got ahold of my phone, he renamed my mother Sugar Tits and Bella Devil Pussy. It was all shits and giggles until Sugar Tits texted me in the middle of the night, demanding I come downstairs and unlock the front door because she was standing outside and wanted to come inside. Not knowing who the hell was texting me, I had replied with more profanities than I cared to think about before threatening to call the Gardaí—on my own bleeding mother.
