Pay-Per-Heart

by Grace McGinty

“Sorry about that. Bodies are heavy, you know?” I joked, and the guy stilled. “Really?” His eyes narrowed. “What? No!” The hell was wrong with this guy? I was clearly kidding. He let out a relieved sigh. “Thank fuck, because I don’t think I could have gone through another police investigation.”

“You joked about it first. Besides, I didn’t know she had her husband chopped up in those fucking bags. I thought she just wanted to visit the pier before she flew home.” I held up a hand. “I’m going to stop you there, because that really isn’t as reassuring as you think.”

“Sure. I never turn down an extra set of hands. Except for Darwin’s. The man doesn’t know how to be gentle; I swear he breaks more orders than he packs.” Darwin rolled his eyes. “I only broke one bowl. Don’t be so dramatic.” “You’d only packed two orders!”

“Fuck me, Darwin. I almost peed my pants.” Darwin tilted his head at me. “Well, not my usual kink, but I’m not against it. I’ll try anything once.”

But there was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to climb aboard that giant nope rope between his legs and give it the good old college try.

“Ah, Amorcito. I’m sorry your parents are cunts.” She let out a short bark of laughter. “I don’t think that’s in the current rotation of Hallmark cards, but I feel like it should be.”