Pay-Per-Heart

by Grace McGinty

For the why choose lovers. You can have your wiener and eat it too.

He was pretty—it would be unfair of nature to make him smart too. He was just out here, just maintaining the balance, bless his heart.

It had a black and white rose across it, and oh look, there was also a lion’s head and a clock. He had the basic white guy sleeve starter pack.

He could be snarky all he wanted, but he wasn’t a woman. He wouldn’t know what it was like to worry about being left alone at a party with your best friend's boyfriend, or walk through a parking lot in the dark, or through the park in broad daylight when a man was walking behind you.

I hadn’t had my phone off silent in like five years, because I wasn’t a serial killer or your bingo-playing grandma.

“For fuck’s sake, Darwin, stop flirting for five minutes during the damn sexual harassment speech, could you?”

So every time his lips brushed my cheek, I told my racing heart to calm its tits. Its valves? Its raging aortas? Whatever.

I gathered my mockups back into the folder and did some deep breathing exercises. Well, I inhaled an apple crumble muffin while I stared at nothing in the distance. Same thing.

I wanted to gag Darwin, but I didn’t think he’d see it as a punishment.

throat. Could throats be attractive? Was I a vampire in a past life? I definitely wanted to suck something, but it wasn’t his blood.

Surely you know things need to get a little messy if you want to create something amazing.”

“For fuck’s sake, Harrison. You’re the fucking love of my life. I love you. Any future I have has you in it.”

Maybe I was just seeing desire everywhere now, wanting to taste every guy who even showed me a little bit of interest. It was like I was hoarding men. I was basically a dick dragon.

What I didn’t tell her—or the crowd around us—was that I had the greatest prize of all on my arm, although I hadn’t won her just yet. But I was working on it.

“You’re going to have such a hangover tomorrow, Sunshine.” I snorted. “That’s tomorrow Blake’s problem.”

“I’m never drinking champagne again,” he groaned. “I’m pretty sure that’s what they baptized Satan in.”

Liebling. If they can’t appreciate how brightly you shine, that’s on them. You don’t need to dim yourself so they can see you properly.”

The four of us sharing one woman? It’s a fairytale they tell bored housewives.

Is that something I’m into? I mean, I didn’t think so, but here we were. Time to fuck around and find out.