Assertiveness: How to Stand Up for Yourself and Still Win the Respect of Others

by Judy Murphy

The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself.”

Remember this

Are you able to express annoyance or anger appropriately?

Do you defend yourself against mistakes that aren’t your fault?

The behavior of others may have an impact upon me, but I determine how I choose to react and/or deal with each situation.

I have the right to offer neither reason nor excuse to justify my behavior.

Justify my behaviour

Others may try to manipulate my behavior and feelings by demanding to know my reasons and by trying to persuade me that I am wrong, but I know that I am the ultimate judge.

Manipulate

I may feel concern and compassion and good will for others, but I am neither responsible for nor do I have the ability to create mental stability and happiness for others.

If I fail to recognize this assertive right, others may choose to manipulate my thoughts and feelings by placing the blame for their problems on me.

Others may try to manipulate my choice by asking that I admit error or by stating that I am irresponsible; it is nevertheless unnecessary for me to justify my decision.

Others may try to manipulate me, having me believe that my errors are unforgivable, that I must make amends for my wrongdoing by engaging in proper behavior.

I am responsible only to myself, and I can deal with periodic disapproval from others.

I have the right to say "I don't care.

It’s my right to say “no,” and I exercise this right when I need to. • I allow myself to receive from others.

If you act insecure and shy, people will dismiss you and think you lack the merit to be taken seriously.

The key is to remain calm and in control of your emotions and physical presence while focusing on being clear and concise with your words.

“No one has the right to make me feel uncomfortable in my own home.”