Assertiveness: How to Stand Up for Yourself and Still Win the Respect of Others

by Judy Murphy

“The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself.”

I have the right to judge whether I am responsible for finding solutions to others' problems. I am ultimately responsible for my own psychological well-being and happiness.

A relationship does not require 100 percent agreement.

If, however, you were taught that good manners meant never saying “no” or questioning others, you may have carried that mindset into your adult life.

Interestingly, studies suggest that 80% of the discussions we have with ourselves about ourselves are damaging.

To change your self-perception, you need to change your self-talk.

I am a strong, confident communicator. • I am worthy and deserving of respect. • I easily express my thoughts, opinions, and desires. • I stand up for my rights. • I feel safe and secure about asking for what I want or need. • I easily ask for what I want and effortlessly exercise my right to say no. • It’s my right to say “no,” and I exercise this right when I need to. • I allow myself to receive from others. • I am important, my views are important, and my life is important. • I trust and believe in myself. • I feel for other people, but it is not reason to be taken advantage of. • I am in control. • I am comfortable in tense and difficult social situations. • I don’t let people and outside influences destabilize me.

making a connection through your eyes that respectfully tells them you mean what you’re saying and understand what they’re saying.

One of the most prevalent places where your child will be able to observe your behavior is at home. If you cannot assert yourself effectively with your family, your children may learn that it is o.k. to be pushed around.