TV has some of the most amazing wildlife programs on it, like Blue Planet and Raa Raa The Noisy Lion. But my old Nokia had Snake on it, which is not just wildlife, but also a game. So that’s 1–0 to phones. TV’s got loads of great game shows on it. But not Soda Candy Crush. Which is brilliant. 2–0 to phones. When you get bored with the TV or the adverts come on, where do you look? Your phone. 3–0 to phones. You can’t take your TV into the bathroom with you to whack off to porn. 4–0 to phones. Unless you’re P Diddy and you’ve got a TV already in your bathroom. And I’m not P Diddy. I’m P Cunk. So
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