This didn’t feel very liberated. It felt more transactional: I want something, you want something. It felt like a performance, and I was an understudy thrown into the show. He lifted Amber off and looked at me. It was my turn. I didn’t hesitate. Go go go, said my brain. Just do it. It’s not a big deal. This is what Playboy girlfriends do. Everybody knows this is what happens here—it’s normal. It’s fine.
