Only Say Good Things: Surviving Playboy and Finding Myself

by Crystal Hefner

Once upon a time I had desperately needed Hugh Hefner, and then, later, he desperately needed me.

I saw young girls making the same mistakes I’d made—attaching their value to their appearance, desperate for outside approval in the form of likes and clicks. I thought of the girl I’d been once, before the mansion, before everything, and how I wished there had been someone to tell me that I didn’t have to fit myself into this particular mold in order to be valuable, to be attractive, to be worthy, to be loved.

I dried my eyes and walked back to join my family. Everything had changed, but I shoved the pain down. Because I was a woman now, and that’s what women do.