Call It What You Want

by Alissa DeRogatis

The pain still lingers. I remember how much it hurt just to look at him. He had always been the one to make me feel safe, but last night was different. It was as though he’d taken a knife and repeatedly plunged it into my chest.

Each time I looked at him, the wound was reopened, the pain as fresh and raw as the first time. It was like death by a thousand cuts.

I knew it the entire time. I knew he wouldn’t be able to get where I wanted him to. I just hoped that I was wrong.

I never told him I thought so because I didn’t need to feed his ego any more than I already had.

life got so much better when I stopped looking for love in every guy I met.

Eventually, the pain became so distant that if I hadn’t written about it, I would’ve

forgotten it ever happened. Maybe Lauren was right.

Just like that, it was our final semester of college. Four years had come and gone in the blink of an eye. It felt like just yesterday when my parents, who weren’t on speaking terms at the time, dropped me off at Moore Hall and I cried while eating microwaveable popcorn for dinner.

might have overreacted a little, I’m just scared. This whole thing between us scares me, and I really don’t want to get hurt.”

“I wouldn’t hurt you, Sloane.” He pulled my body into his and rested his chin on my head. “I’m scared too.”

Fun

meanwhile most days I wondered if Ethan felt the same way about me as I did about him.

“Babe,” she continued. “Stop losing your mind over someone who doesn’t mind losing you.”