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“I love you.” His brows rose a little. “I know.” Way to pop my lovey-dovey bubble.
“You misunderstood me.” I got more comfortable in his lap so I could look him right in the eye. “It is hard to see or find value in anything when it’s dark all around you. The four of you gave me light. So I don’t value my life because the four of you are in it. I value my life because the four of you showed me how. Some might find it ridiculous that it took your help to value myself again, but I think it’s all right to get help sometimes.”
“I want family meals, to celebrate birthdays, and to wake up every morning next to one of you. I want to laugh with you and fight with you and love you until I’m old. And one day, many years from now, I want babies who have beautiful blond hair and either aquamarine or golden-brown eyes. I want all of that. Desperately.”
“Ooooh, Mr. X!” I shouted through the house. I was no longer the mouse in this terrifying game he forced me to play; I was the cat.
His dark depths used to be so terrifying and had haunted me for so long. Something seemed to change. It had to be me, because as I held his eyes, he wasn’t my demon or my boogeyman anymore. He was still a monster in a sense, but he was mostly just a man.
