The crucial distinction is validity versus productivity. When someone asks me an inappropriate question, it is absolutely valid for me to get upset and answer angrily; it is not always productive. However, even in this dichotomy, it is important to ask: Productive for whom? I see three viable options: productive for the inappropriate question-asker; productive for me, the disrespected trans person; or productive for the greater society / others / purpose of learning. Because I want to educate, I often choose to prioritize the benefit to the question-asker and greater society, instead of
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