But at the heart of free speech rhetoric is one’s own agency—they argue that they should be allowed to use the words they want to describe others—isn’t that “free speech” after all? No, not exactly—telling someone else who they are through using incorrect pronouns is not about your self-expression, your own identity, or your beliefs. It’s about disregarding, demeaning, and controlling another person. In reality, respecting someone else’s identity and calling them the pronouns they’ve requested centers on recognizing another person’s self-determination and the ability to self-express—and costs
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