Any Means Necessary

by Lila Herron

You’ve got it in your head that emotions get in the way of every decision, and you’re almost right. But sometimes acting on your feelings is the difference between staying alive and actually living.”

“Sometimes the only difference between poison and medicine is a matter of dosage.”

She’s complicated and wrong for me, and I’m completely obsessed. The anger surging in me shifts towards panic, the realization unsettling every part of me. Lexie has me, and she has no idea. She’s taken me without even trying, without meaning to. But she doesn’t want me, doesn’t need me. That’s going to change, it has to. Because I need her to need me. I’m going to own her; mind, body and soul. I’ll possess every part of her, the way she holds me in her sparkly manicured hand. It’s not a matter of if, just a matter of when and how. I’m not delusional enough to think it’ll be easy, but that’s never stopped me. I just need a plan—and if there’s one thing you can say about me, it’s that my plans always get results.

“I used to wonder if maybe I’d never find someone. That maybe the way I was raised was too damaging, something I’d just have to learn to live with.”

“You’re angry at me, I get that. You’re allowed to be.” His gaze drills into me. “But what’s not allowed is for you to stop taking care of yourself because you’re upset.” The message hits home, landing heavily in my chest. It’s exactly what my therapist would say— “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” This tends to be a pattern when I’m emotional about something. Self isolation and restriction—it’s how I self sabotage.

“You’ve been mine since you signed the contract. But I’ve been yours from the moment you demanded to see my ID. That ink sealed your fate and now this ink seals mine.”