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October 24 - October 30, 2025
He deserved so much more, so much better than me. Yet he looked at me as if he would rip the world to pieces for me, and I knew I would do so much worse for him.
Somewhere between the temple on Onuna and the remains of Rashearim, Samkiel had become essential to me. He had been my anchor even when I was lost and didn’t recognize it.
“I also think that sometimes two people can love each other so very much that not even death can separate them.”
“If there were some way I could help to make the pain less, I would do it. I would bend any rule I could to make it so for you.” He gently wiped away the tears I could not stop. “But even with all my powers, I cannot heal a broken heart, and I can not rush grief.”
Samkiel said he couldn’t fix a broken heart, but how could I tell him he already was?
“You can stay.”
My heart dropped, along with my face. He’d never denied me before. I hadn’t realized how spoiled I was. I had truly messed this up. My chest burned.
“I assure you if you're ever feeling generous, you always have my permission.”
“Can you promise to come back? It’s just better when you are here. Even if we are fighting.”
“Pinky promise.”
but I could have sworn in the middle of the night we moved, could have sworn his hands wrapped around my waist, and he pulled me to him, my body fitting against his as if I were made for him. I could have sworn he had held me, and for once, it didn’t feel like my entire world was broken.
My only urge revolved around ripping those damn council garbs off Samkiel with my teeth. I just needed him alone.
I grinned, our eyes connecting. We stared at each other, the tension nearly sparking in the air between us.
“Too bad. You should have stayed. I would have woken you up. I was feeling generous.”
“I’m worried I’ll ruin that too, little star.”
Samkiel had always been there, a shield and protector, whether or not I had thought I needed it.
I thought about Samkiel. I always thought about Samkiel. Even when I lied and said I didn’t.
Samkiel was important to me, and if I was honest with myself, I only craved his touch.
It was nearly a relief to admit I wanted him.
Are you deprived, my Dianna? Oh, yes. Gods, yes, I was.
“The smile, the way you practically eye fucked him when he stood up, and let’s not talk about the scent in this house.”
We had never officially been anything, really. But my heart whispered that I wanted us to be something. I wanted that more than I cared to admit.
It’s very hard, but they do help. They do. He does.
He makes me happy, and I don’t feel so alone when I am with them,
“Just hear me out before you say no and pretend you are busy. Please.” My hand covered hers, holding it against my chest. “I never pretend that I am busy. I truly am.”
“You asked. I made it work.”
“Your hair… It’s lovely.”
“Keep holding my hands.”
“Then what would you stare at when you think I am not looking?”
“That was… beautiful.”
“Thank you for bringing me here. I know it means something to you. Anything you wish to share with me means a lot.”
“It’s because you have not let me go yet.”
“You really are a knight in shining armor, aren’t you?”
“I know you don’t see it, but I don’t think anyone would consider themselves damned with you.”
“Sometimes you retreat so far in your head I’m afraid I can’t reach you.”
“What do you want, handsome?”
“You didn’t just lose a sister, Dianna. I lost you in every way possible. He hurt you. He will pay for that whether or not you think it’s acceptable. I didn’t tell you because you would have run to confront him. You’re a fool to think I’d let you near him without your powers. You mean too much to me.”
“I am not the one who left, Dianna. You did.”
Yet, here I was, acting as if he needed to tell me everything he did when I left, when I hurt him in every way possible, lied to him, used what he had taught me, and spat it back in his face. I had no right.
“Dianna, I am trying. I really am trying to keep my head above water, help you, help the world, and defeat this psychopath. So, please, bear with me. I am not trying to keep things from you. Your life is more important than anything. I just can’t lose you again, and I am not sure how to handle all this.”
It hit me, then. Just how tired he had been lately and how I was not helping but only adding to it. I didn’t want to hurt him anymore, not in the slightest. I pushed my anger aside because the truth was, I cared for him enough that I was worried about him.
“Yup, this was supposed to be a date.”
You cannot be within an inch of Kaden without your powers. Not because I think you are weak, but if he hurt you again, touched you, I’d level the world.”
“You’re cute when you’re homicidal.”
“Do not be mean, then flirt with me.” “Why? It’s our whole dynamic.”
I didn’t deserve him.
it was never serious for me. Not until you. I have trust issues.”
“I have a lot of issues, and I know I can be mean and rude and cruel. I also know I will never fully heal.
I am a mess of jagged pieces and broken parts, but…”
“But,” I finally said, “every fragment, every piece of me still left, cares about you. Even the very dangerous and ugly parts.”
