The Throne of Broken Gods (Gods & Monsters, #2)

by Amber V. Nicole

“I lost someone. We all have. Grief is mourning, but you’re not grieving. You skipped straight to anger and revenge, and it’s because you feel guilty.” Guilty. The word rang in my head as it charged toward a door wrapped in chains.

Some things are meant to happen. You see death and assume it is against you, but death is natural. It is not cruel or kind. Death takes no sides. Death does not discriminate or hate. It just is and has remained since the first living being existed and will be here long after. It may hurt, but it happens to all. Gabriella and you are no exception.

Dianna saw me for who I am, not a ruler or king. She made me feel normal, and then she left me. Abandoned me like it meant nothing.”

“You found me,” she choked out, the cavern trembling around us. I couldn’t help the silent sob that escaped me. “I will always find you.”

but I never expected what he did next. Samkiel studied her face, and then he hugged her tightly, his massive arms swallowing her small frame. Neverra laughed, caught off guard, but the sound turned into soft sobs. She leaned into him, accepting the safety and comfort he offered. We all stood frozen, everyone in the room shocked. Samkiel, although he risked his life for us, was never affectionate. He didn’t say the words ‘I love you’ to anyone. He hadn’t truly hugged anyone since his mom died. Yet, here he was, holding Neverra like he’d lost a part of himself when she’d disappeared, and I suppose, in a way, he had.

My eyes flicked to the doorway near the large fridge. A shadowed hall lay beyond. That was why I couldn’t find an exit. It was behind him. My gaze met his as he stopped mid-chew. “Don’t.” I ran.

but it wouldn’t help heal what was broken and wrong and angry inside of me. I was afraid nothing could.

“No, I don’t want Cameron. I mostly wanted to see if that vein still pops up on your forehead. It does, by the way.” His eyes narrowed. “You’re not funny.”

“Well, funny story. It was actually you.” “Me?” “Yeah. I remembered what you taught me back at the Vanderkai’s mansion about large beasts and soft spots. Then I kind of let him swallow me and cut him from the inside out.” Samkiel stopped and turned to look at me. “That’s⁠—” “Reckless?” I winced. He shook his head in disbelief. “Astonishing. I have done that only once in my very long life and regretted it immediately.” I laughed. “I have to admit, I also regretted it immediately.”

“Gods, Dianna, why is it so hard for you to believe that someone just genuinely cares about you?” “Because they don’t!” I shouted, my voice breaking. “They don’t. I have lived a thousand years as someone’s weapon, someone’s thing. Everyone wants something from me, and the only person in the whole world who didn’t is dead!”

“Can you promise to come back? It’s just better when you are here. Even if we are fighting.” It was silent for a moment, and I was afraid he’d fallen asleep. Then I heard his hand slide across the bed and felt his finger wrap around mine. “Pinky promise.”

“I also remember reading about those who could whisper what was to come in dreams. Over and over until the recipient understood, until they got it. A whisper to those they wished to influence.” If Roccurem ever smiled, I never saw it, but the slight twitch of his lips told me all I needed to know.

He’d tell the others to leave, and then he would usually just sulk, barely speaking. But the nights he did, we talked about everything and nothing.

“But,” I finally said, “every fragment, every piece of me still left, cares about you. Even the very dangerous and ugly parts.” “Dianna,” he cupped my cheek, the heat of his palm rough against my skin, “there are no ugly parts or pieces of you, and I care about them all, broken or not.”

He combined both motions, and my eyes rolled so far back in my head that I feared they would get stuck.

“It will be painful.” I grinned. “Eating? Highly unlikely.” “But it is necessary for what has to occur. I wish there were another way, but it seems even that cannot be avoided. You will lose so much, young hunter. You all will. I do hope you treasure your family while you still have them. I did try. Remember that.” Fear slithered down my back. “Try? Try what?” He said nothing else before disappearing from the room, his words rattling through my very being.

But the moon could just be a symbol. Dreams are interpreted as the viewer sees fit. The moon represents change and passage of time. It is a power able to shape the tides. You have experienced a lot of changes and upheavals, important and life-altering ones.”

“Wouldn’t it suck if Kaden was like Samkiel’s long-lost uncle or something?” The room stilled. Even Logan stopped with a chip raised halfway to his mouth. Cameron glanced at all of us and then sighed. “He’s right behind me, isn’t he?” I nodded.

“If I say I’m good, I feel guilty because she isn’t here, and when I look at them and how happy and kind they are to me, I feel even worse for what I put them through because of him.” “And then?” I watched Samkiel move toward the kitchen. I could hear their laughter from here, even if it was a murmured mess. “And then I feel cold and ruthless because I know the part of me that ripped through Onuna and Yejedin is not gone, even if I can’t call fire or change my form. She’s here to stay, and that is especially apparent considering my threats to eviscerate Vincent.” “Does that upset you?” I shook my head. “No, for the first time in a long time, I know who I am. I like me. It’s everyone else I’m worried about. I reacted so quickly earlier, and I know if anyone ever hurt him, family or not, I would rip them to pieces and sleep like a baby afterward. So,” I tipped my wineglass in a toast, “I feel a multitude of things.”