The Throne of Broken Gods (Gods & Monsters, #2)

by Amber V. Nicole

“Of course not. The way I care for you is vastly different. The lengths I will go to for you are unfathomable. I refuse to let you hurt yourself, no matter how vile or mean you are to me. I know you’re in pain. You are mourning, and someone like you will grieve just as hard and deeply as you love.”

“Kaden took her family from her. Give her one back.”

Xavier laughed, swatting my hands away. “Well, let’s hope we won’t be swallowed.” “Why?” I shrugged. “That’s always the fun part.”

We can do this dance until this world burns and the next takes its place, but I will still choose you.”

“Do it.” I angled the tip of her blade above my heart. “If you are truly gone, I refuse to live in a world without you, so you’ll have to angle it farther to the right. That’s where a god’s heart lies, and mine already belongs to you, so do with it what you will.”

“You know why I can look at her and not fear her?” He shrugged. “Enlighten me.” “Her sister.” I leaned back, folding my arms. “Neverra and I lived with her for months while they were off looking for that book. The stories Gabby told us, the pictures she showed us. Her eyes lit up when she spoke of Dianna and their adventures together. She was mortal once, and the change only affected her physically, not emotionally, not her heart or soul. Gabriella loved her with every part of her. Dianna would have died for her sister, and Gabby’s death broke her.”

Roccurem’s six eyes opened, and he looked at me. “Love is such a dangerous and powerful emotion. The gods curse it, for it has power. Empires have fallen for it, reduced to sand and scriptures. Worlds have burned for it, and they will once more. Love has the power to touch even the untouchable. Use it.”

“My heart and soul scream in defiance because she is the only thing I can think about. The only thing I dream of when I allow it, the only thing in this life or the next I wish to claim.” I felt my eyes sting as I turned to him, his features filled with anguish. “Why do I feel so strongly for her? Why can’t I treat her like any other beast or creature? The time we spent together should mean nothing. Nothing. I have been with countless beings, traveled between worlds, saved thousands, and fought creatures that could swallow worlds. Yet this woman with a fiery attitude has burned me to my very core. I let her in during the worst part of my existence, and now she is in my bones. My every thought, every dream, is of her, and I can’t eat or sleep. I haven’t even been inside of her, Logan, not really, not like Cameron or Vincent suspects, but she’s burned into my soul, my very being. And I hate it. I hate that it’s not simple anymore. I hate feeling so strongly for someone who does not feel the same. Every time a door opens, or I hear heels on the floor, I look for her, and I hate that, too. I hate that I think every dark-haired woman I see is her. She made me smile, made me laugh, and I hate it. I hate that she made me feel alive and whole for once. Dianna saw me for who I am, not a ruler or king. She made me feel normal, and then she left me. Abandoned me like it meant nothing.”

Logan looked at me as if I’d asked the most idiotic question he’d ever heard. “Because you give all of us hope. You’ve saved every single one of us in one way or the other. I’ve seen monsters quake in your presence. Gods bowed, and the realms rejoiced when you were named our next ruler. You are the very best of them, of us. And you will save her. That’s what you do. You save people.”

“Rule number one of this short-term partnership. We don’t mention his name or even talk about him.” I gave him my most intimidating stare. He smirked knowingly, utterly unaffected by my death glare. “Why? Does his name bother you? You said you don’t care about him. Seems weird that it would be an issue if that is true.” My eyes narrowed into slits, and I shoved Logan into the river. I watched with satisfaction as he hit the water and went under, but I sighed when I could still see the blue glow beneath the current. When he surfaced, he looked up at me and flipped me off. For the first time in months, I smiled.

Light flared from beneath a door so deep in my mind I flinched. The door shook and rattled, screams echoing through my head. I clenched my hands so tight my claws drew blood.

“Gabby liked you both. You were kind to her and protected her when I couldn’t. You gave her a home. I owe you.” I didn’t lie this time, and I hoped my voice didn’t break as much as it felt like it did.

I incinerated the factory and everything inside it. Creatures covered in flames ran, but there was no escaping me. A few attempted to fly away, but they fell from the sky, screaming. I was fury and desolation. Vengeance and hate. Beginning and end. I was death incarnate. Smoke billowed up in a dark, hateful cloud. My wings beat against it, propelling me higher. I circled and passed. The sound that left me surpassed my mortality, past my grief and pain. It was a hollow, beckoning, wretched challenge that shook the world. A war cry.

“What’s happening?” Another roar split the sky, and small rocks rained from the ceiling. “It’s Dianna. I think she is working through her problems.”

“Even Samkiel’s grandfather couldn’t kill me. So, what makes you think you will?” “Call it arrogance.”

“You can’t do everything alone.” Dianna’s head whipped toward us, something primal and devastating flashing across her features.

“You’re in a ripe mood. You must be feeling better,” Samkiel said.

“You’re a fool if you think I would be happy in a world where you did not exist.”

Remember that I love you. Always - Gabby P.S. Because I know you, be nicer to Liam.

Silence grew but not uncomfortably. It never was between us.

I nodded slowly, even as my lips twitched. “Sure thing, princess.” His eyes cut to mine, and I had a second to regret my decision before he flicked his wrist, and lake water splashed over me. I gasped, and the stag made a displeased noise in its throat. “You.” I huffed, my arms and face dripping. “Didn’t.” He shrugged, utterly unfazed, as he continued to pet the stag that grazed between us. “I did.” My rebellious scream scared the stag away, but I got my revenge.

“You think I can catch an illness with no powers?” He shook his head, smiling softly. “Doubtful. I’m afraid even illnesses would fear you.” “Ass.” I swatted at him, but he dodged me effortlessly. “Do you fear me?” His grin turned into a closed-lipped smile as he took a step toward me. I don’t know why I asked that question or why I was so desperate to know, but a part of me, behind lock and key, was curious. “No.” His eyes scanned my face. “You’d have to do something truly terrifying to scare me, and I have not seen it yet.”

Kindness, when not deserved, was truly a mark of strength.

My brow lifted. “Didi?” Cameron nodded and poured another shot, passing it to Xavier. “Yeah, that’s your new nickname. Everyone gets one. Welcome to the family.” Family. A thousand and one images threatened to drown me at once at that word. A house with carved initials, a smile from someone I loved dearly, and a cavern of flames and stone that was more a prison than ever a home. Anger bubbled to the surface, replacing my desperate need to claim what they offered. It was hot, quick, and ready to defend my bruised and damaged heart. “I didn’t ask⁠—” Cameron shook his head and pressed his hand over my mouth, cutting off my words. He and Xavier gulped their drinks and placed their empty glasses down. Cameron stood, and they grabbed my arms, one on each side of me, leading me to the dance floor. “Yes, yes, you don’t want it. We get it. Let’s go dance,” Cameron said, his body already moving to the beat.

Lights to lead us out of the most heinous darkness—that was what Cameron was to him and what Samkiel was to me. Sunshine.

“I understand, Logan. It’s a harsh reality that nothing lasts forever, not even us. My immortality is a curse. I was never meant to hold the realms together alone. So when this is done, just live, Logan. You both deserve it. You all do. I would never be upset. All I ever wanted was for all of you to be happy. When this is done, you and Neverra are free to leave. I will stop none of you who wish for a different life.” Logan rushed forward, hugging me. He would have knocked the wind out of me if I hadn’t been wearing armor. I clapped him on the back, refusing to think about him not being at my side, and stepped back. He clasped one armored hand on my shoulder before dropping it. “You’ve always been better than the other gods. I think that’s why they hated you.”

“Let go of me,” I hissed. “Are you going to throw another pillow at me?” “Yes.” He tipped his head to the side, staring at me, his eyes filled with warmth. “Fine. No.”

“Your smile, Dianna, is only one of the most beautiful things about you.”

“No one was there for me after I lost my father, my world. Not until you. I don’t want you to go through this alone. It won’t be easy, and there will be days you will feel like you don’t want to get out of bed, but I want to be there for you. Every day if you will let me.”

“Stuff like what they were wearing at the resort.” “Oh,” he said, stepping away and snapping his fingers. “Like this?” I tossed my head back and laughed, the sound mixing with the song of the waves. Samkiel looked absolutely ridiculous with the overgrown hat, a stripe of sunscreen down the bridge of his nose, an inflatable animal around his waist, and yellow swim trunks. He smiled widely at me as I got my amusement under control. “What did I do wrong?”

“Gabby was gone. I wanted Kaden dead, and I didn’t care. I had hoped if I fought him, even if I won, he would take me with him. It never occurred to me that anyone would notice I was gone.” Pain and anger flashed in his eyes, and he swam toward me. I didn’t back away or avoid his gaze, even as my eyes burned. He stopped in front of me, brushing his thumb against the curve of my cheek. “I would have,” he whispered. “I would have.” I nodded, tears blurring my vision. Something in me broke. It hurt, but it felt clean as if it needed to break, and now it had a chance of healing. Samkiel had been right. It helped to see this. Being here forced me to face my fears and memories. But none of that was what broke me, shattering my composure. Samkiel’s arms went around me, and he pulled me in close, his powerful body easily keeping us afloat. Like he always did. My body rocked as I sobbed. I wrapped my arms and legs around him, burying my face against his neck. He had said it before, but I truly heard it this time. He had proven it, time and time again, and hearing him say it today was my true undoing. No matter how mean I was, how cruel, vile, and hateful, Samkiel saw me, and he cared.

His lips curved in a soft smile as he tipped his head toward me. “To be loved by the great Dianna would be a gift beyond imagining. Anyone to receive your love and be claimed by you would be lucky.” I blinked, my breath leaving my body in an audible whoosh. “That doesn’t scare you?” He shrugged. “While your anger is a force that may frighten lesser men, it does not scare me. I told you, you never scared me. I have only been afraid for you, not of you. All of this is coming from a woman who has had everything stripped from her by force. Why wouldn’t you use force to keep what you love safe? It is what the world has taught you needs to happen.”

“Samkiel?” “Hm?” I swallowed the growing lump in my throat. “Can you promise to come back? It’s just better when you are here. Even if we are fighting.” It was silent for a moment, and I was afraid he’d fallen asleep. Then I heard his hand slide across the bed and felt his finger wrap around mine. “Pinky promise.” He kept his finger interlocked with mine under the pillow between us. My eyes closed, and for the first time in a really long while, I fell asleep without fear of what dreams I would have. I just slept and rested, but I could have sworn in the middle of the night we moved, could have sworn his hands wrapped around my waist, and he pulled me to him, my body fitting against his as if I were made for him. I could have sworn he had held me, and for once, it didn’t feel like my entire world was broken.

And a lock on a door in a house… quieted. I opened my eyes to see my star wink back at me.

My head slammed to the table, and I lay there face down. “What if you’re wrong, and I am just seeing what I want to see? What if it isn’t real, Logan?” I mumbled against the table. Logan’s laugh only made my nerves more erratic. “They wrote war songs about you. Men and beasts alike would piss themselves if you stepped on a battlefield, and now the great and fearsome World Ender is afraid of a date.” “I am not fond of you right now,” I said.

Samkiel was just a boy in love with a girl. I knew it, even if they hadn’t said it. Or, like her, denied it. I could feel it dancing across my skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake. Love was nothing but magic in its purest form.

I was an open book to him, and he read every page I learned. I couldn’t throw my words like acid to burn him; he merely brushed them off. I couldn’t hide behind my anger and hate because he knew better. He always did. His words softened an unruly beast in me, soothing its thrashing body back to sleep. He had no idea how utterly and completely wrong he was. He always reached me, which was the problem and another reason among many why I left when Gabby died. Samkiel could drag me out of my pain and misery, and he would help and be there for me when all I wanted was vengeance and blood. I didn’t want his help then, didn’t want him to reach me, but now? Now I thought I was ready.

“What do you want, handsome?” I asked, leaning through the window and pointing toward the menu on the side of the food truck. His grin was dangerous, his pleasure at the compliment easy to see. “This is stealing. You do realize that?” I waved my hand. “Eh, I call it borrowing, and technically, you’re an accomplice. You broke the lock, then started the truck. So…” My voice trailed off. He shrugged. “I’m innocent. You coerced me.” “Barely.” I snickered.

My lips twisted in a smirk. “You’re cute when you’re homicidal.” He made a noise low in his throat. “Do not be mean, then flirt with me.” “Why? It’s our whole dynamic.”

I felt a crack form in the locked door deep within me. It was a small one, but it let out a shimmer of light.

A lock on a door in the house we stood in faded.