Making It So: A Memoir

by Patrick Stewart

“I’m so sorry, sir, I am new at this and have come to recognize that I have grossly overordered in the potato department.”

Sometimes the sentiment It was a different time isn’t enough of a justification.

It will not surprise you to learn that the guy who thought that Sting played a double bass in a policeman’s band knew next to nothing of Star Trek.

As I sat on a soundstage speaking to a journalist, I was unaware that LeVar was nearby, listening to the whole thing. When it was over, he appeared in front of me and said, simply, “Cucumber soup.” “I’m sorry?” I said. “Cucumber soup. You are as cool as cucumber fucking soup.” I still consider this one of the most flattering compliments I’ve ever received, because LeVar is the coolest person I have ever met.

Season One of The Next Generation was decidedly a mixed bag, but really, what first season isn’t?

Trekkies take note.

Picard is taken prisoner by a militaristic race of aliens known as the Cardassians (please note, no relation to the reality-television family).

My most lasting impact on SNL history, though, was my full-throated announcement of that episode’s musical guest, Salt-N-Pepa, around which the comedian John Mulaney, a former writer for SNL, built an entire stand-up segment.

And they were both amazing.