Some days I missed being at the White House, and fantasized about an alternate reality where Trump had won. Other times, it was painful to remember my time there. I felt a pain I didn’t want to numb but didn’t want to confront, either. The magnitude of January 6th, the damage of Trump’s election denial, and the toll that the stress had taken on me would hit me full force. I’d feel guilt for having played a role in the chain of bad decisions that led to January 6th. I wasn’t to blame for it. But I had been there, and hadn’t done enough to stop it. I could have resigned, like Alyssa. I could
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