Martyr!

by Kaveh Akbar

‘This is what you’ve made? He’s all empty! All hollow!’ He can’t believe his luck. How easy his job is going to be. Humans are just a long emptiness waiting to be filled.” Sang smiled. “Sounds like some men I’ve known for sure,” she said. Cyrus laughed too. “Right?” He went on, “I think the moral is supposed to be that you fill the hollow with God. And that everything else is a distraction.” “Hmph. Is your hollow filled with God, then?” she asked. “Oh, no,” Cyrus said quickly. “Or mostly never. Maybe a couple times in my life. I think I’ve tried to fill it with booze, with drugs. Maybe with writing. But obviously, none have really worked out very well.” “Never love? That seems like the big one.” Cyrus thought. The ground burning under his feet. He felt a pang, thought about Zee. “Not as much. Not as much as I probably should.” “Oh, I don’t know about ‘should.’ But mostly, it’s a cleaner fuel than getting high. Cleaner than art too, mostly.”