All the books for women say not to smile or nod too much, so when I feel like smiling or nodding, I have to stop and think through the ramifications for my career, so I am angry but I think it’s denial. One night John asks what I think about a local ballot referendum, and instead of just telling him, I find myself composing a paragraph free from ambiguity or feeling words or rhetorical gaps he could nail me on, and I realize I do it all the time now, translate myself into Amazon-speak even when I’m the only one listening, and I am angry and sad and maybe scared, but I think it’s just
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