Surprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Life

by C.S. Lewis

had approached God, or my idea of God, without love, without awe, even without fear. He was, in my mental picture of this miracle, to appear neither

as Savior nor as Judge, but merely as a magician; and when He had done what was required of Him I supposed He would simply—well, go away. It never crossed my mind that the tremendous contact which I solicited should have any consequences beyond restoring the status quo.

quarters chiming, the night slipping past, the sickening, hopeless weariness. This was the burden from

so, little by little, with fluctuations which I cannot now trace, I became an apostate, dropping my faith with no sense of loss but with the greatest relief.

You will often meet with characters in nature so extravagant that a discreet poet would not venture to set them upon the stage. LORD CHESTERFIELD