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A man has to decide what type of life he wants before life decides for him.
Your life is your own.
“I never been the type to worry about another nigga. Especially when I see something I want.”
It was the conviction which he spoke with. The pure dominance in his tone activated my feminine energy.
“Alright, I’m on my best behavior but I’m still a nigga. Yo’ pretty ass better stop looking at me like that and start talking. Your eyes so fuckin’ sexy girl. I gotta look in those pretty muthafuckas while you cum on this dick. Keep playin when you know you ain’t ready for that shit.”
“Yeah you want me to talk you through that shit? I feel that pussy relaxing around me. I can’t wait to taste this pretty muthafucka. You gone relax that pussy and let me give you this dick you want?”
All I could do was lay my head on his chest and drift to sleep ignoring my heart that was silently breaking in my chest from the realization that a night like this would never happen again.
God won’t give you this opportunity without a way to get it done.
“Communication is something I prioritize heavily. Especially when it comes to my woman. I want to hear everything. I want to hear you. Fully. I need you to hear me that same way. I missed so much and I want to be filled in on every detail you feel is important.
“Keep your feet off the floor please. Nothing that goes in my mouth touches the floor. Do you understand?” He looked at me squarely.
Real men don’t talk baby. We show. It’s way more where that came from. I’m not even close to done.”
“I want you to take me to our room and fuck me like you missed me. Show me.”
“Stop that! Give me all of that. Every one of them muthafuckas belong to me just like the rest of you. You need to release what you been carrying for so long. Whatever you need to do baby don’t stop yourself. I know what I’m doing to you.”
I had to believe that God was finally answering my prayers, even the ones I wasn’t smart enough to pray for myself. It had to be Him because I couldn’t have even asked for the blessing that I was receiving.
“I’m gone eat you the fuck up when we get home. I want every part of you on my tongue. You walking around here with all that ass like you won’t get fucked.”
“Priest you will not fuck me in your mother’s house,” she whispered but didn’t resist. “I do what the fuck I want to with my woman.” I went to the bathroom and closed the door behind us. I bent her over the sink. I snatched her panties from her and put them in my pocket.
The loss of my mother had gutted me and I thought not thinking about it and staying busy would replace her but it did nothing to heal this hole in my heart. I had to deal with this and face it head on. I had to feel it.
Living without my mother was one of the hardest things I would ever do.
I had poured so much into other people my whole life but this next phase was going to be called my turn and it started right now.
